[Once again, it is evening in the dorms and Izou is knocking on the door to McGillis' room. But the vibes are completely different this time.
When McGillis opens the door (presuming he does), he'll find Izou standing there looking especially casual. Though he's still got Hizen slung at his hip, he's not wearing his hakama over his kimono, and he's got house slippers on. Even that much suggests he's not here to fight, but the bottle of sake and two cups he's holding cements it.]
[ McGillis has only recently started opening his door without a verification process again. He figures that if Izou was actually going to kill him before the promised time, he'd have lost his patience and gone for it by now. He should be safe until the end of Braphine's assignment, thus, and the 'who are you and what are your intentions' spiel had gotten pretty old anyway.
And thus, McGillis opens his door to find the person he least expected to see in a manner that is honestly more unsettling than being visited by him in full manslayer mode.
For a moment, he just looks between the slippers and the cups, dead silent. ]
[Honestly Izou had expected either the door to be immediately closed or this frosty reception so. Things are going as well as they could have, so far.]
Aah. And it's probably better it's in private. I know you got no reason to trust me in a situation like that so I brought a peace offerin'.
[ It's a pretty poor peace offering as far as McGillis is concerned, but he is willing to concede that Izou and him probably just have different ideas about the sentimental value of alcohol.
He crosses his arms... or begins to and then thinks better of it, because the position is still uncomfortable. ]
Well, at least I know you're not coward enough to come and poison me when you could as well have the satisfaction of cutting me down.
[ So that's... one positive judgement of character there? After another moment of hesitation, he steps aside. The room has been tidied up since their unfortunate run-in, but the battle damage still shows in the door area. Otherwise, it's so clean and sterile that it's hard to tell anybody even lives there. ]
[WOW AND HE EVEN GOT A NICER BOTTLE FOR YOUR FANCY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE GOT THAT $20 SAKE INSTEAD OF THE $7 SAKE!!!!!!!
He huffs at the slightly backhanded confident but does come inside. He sits down like he belongs there, because that's the sort of unearned confidence Okada Izou generally carries himself with, before opening the bottle and filling both cups.]
You go into any of those weird doors that popped up in the Nekiya this week?
[ McGillis had a dim suspicion that this is what it's all about, but he'd been hoping against hope that Izou has a whole different inane intention in coming here. Izou is right that this is a conversation better had in private, at least. McGillis shuts the door just a tiny bit louder than need be. The air in the room immediately feels heavy and claustrophobic to him. ]
Yes. They were fairly hard to miss.
[ With the door now closed, he comes over and sits down at the head end of his bed, well in reach of the desk Izou is sitting at. The room is not particularly big after all. Jordi's side of it has gone entirely untouched since his death. ]
[ McGillis contemplates just letting Izou hold it awkwardly until he has to give up, but then he decides he needs a drink a lot more than he needs to be petty. He takes the glass. ]
Why would I have? The Fareed family is one of the most influential and wealthy families in my world. Functionally, I am what you call me.
[ Here, he takes a sip of sake, because yeah. He doesn't drink a lot, but this is not tolerable totally sober. ]
Besides, I did not owe either of you any explanations, did I now?
[See, while the sake was ALSO a peace offering, Izou also figured this conversation would be easier for both parties if they weren't 100% sober. He doesn't want to be either.]
You don't owe us shit, but don't you owe it to yerself ta not have to suffer a buncha judgement and jibes based on the assumption you don't know shit about what the common man has ta deal with?
[He's not going to point out the obvious matter of McGillis not being born into wealth because obviously McGillis knows that.]
[ McGillis actually smiles at that, though it's sarcastic. ]
I've been listening to what the rich and powerful have to say about people like me day in and out. Some of them say it in earshot just to hurt me, because they assume I'm a bastard fathered on some serving girl. Some of it say it directly to me in confidence, under the mistaken assumption of equality.
You were just turning the tables a little. Nothing you say could have been so nasty that I haven't heard it all before.
[When it comes to this particular issue, he can't compare to McGillis, really. He was generally afforded a small modicum of respect since the Okada's were technically samurai, but he'd certainly overheard people refer to him as "Takechi's charity case." or "Sakamoto's rabid dog." So at the very least he understands the feeling.
McGills is acting like he's heard it so much that it doesn't bother him, but Izou isn't sure he believes that. Maybe it's true and McGillis is just harder to anger.]
And when I tried to kill you it still didn't seem like somethin' worth bringing up?
[ Though Izou is not wrong. In that moment, it really did get to him. He'd been tired of it, not belonging on either side of the fence. He'd wanted to shout it at Izou, but neither of them were in the mindset to have a conversation of any kind of coherence.
But admitting that is admitting weakness, so he won't. ]
[ McGillis pauses, studying Izou's face for a moment. By now, he's admitted to coming from a bad background to a few people in Sunset City, but never in any amount of detail. Never anywhere close to what he knows Izou saw, even if he doesn't feel like being forthcoming about remembering that encounter.]
I was. And then I clawed my way out of that gutter up to the top of Gjallarhorn. Soldiers have fought and died for me and my revolution.
[ Well. That's the second time Izou has willingly made this comparison, and this time with even more conviction than the last. McGillis had always known he was predestined for this comparison (or at the very least for drawing projected hatred specifically), but he hadn't expected Izou to double down on it in value-neutral (?) contexts as well. Hm. ]
I killed Gaelio because I wanted to do it. Certainly, I engineered a situation in which his death would benefit my cause, but that was tangential.
[ McGillis empties his glass. ]
I knew from the day I was in your palace that you'd come to hate me eventually. What are you hoping to get out of these 'complications', Izou?
Well fer one I don't like it when other people think they get ta decide how I'm supposed ta feel.
[BINCH.]
And I got the sneaking suspicion that yer deliberately talking about what ya did using the words you think'll make me the angriest. I know a thing or two about pushin' people away. You ain't doin' it because you don't like me.
[Finishing his glass before refilling both his own and McGillis's.]
[ This doesn't mean that he isn't consistently irritated and even outright angry at the person Izou has chosen to be, but it's... a lot more complex than dislike. If it were dislike, he'd have left him to that mirror. If it were dislike, he'd never have challenged him to come find him in the first place. ]
[He had to swallow some of his own pride to come here. He's trying to open an actual conversation. But he's not magnanimous to pry it out of McGillis. If McGillis doesn't want to mend the bridge, Izou's giving him the out right now.]
[ It stings when Izou is being the mature person in a conversation. McGillis wants to go back to provoking him into pointing swords, with all 'complications' well-existent but buried deep underneath more easily processed sentiments.
McGillis stares into his drink, because that's a better place to look than at the other man. ]
I do not.
[ It'd be a lie, and he's lied enough already. Mafuyu, Eli, Celeste and Argenti have all encouraged him to change himself - with varying word choices and varying intensity. He'll at least try to honor their efforts. ]
[It's a shame McGillis is looking at his drink, because when he says those words, there's a slight but visible shift in Izou's posture, a relaxing of muscles, a sense of relief.]
Stupid choice if ya ask me. I tried to kill you, and I know you got the sense ta tell that if everyone else hadn't shown up I'd have died before I stopped trying.
[Taking another large sip.]
Even before that, you helped get me outta my palace when you barely knew me and I hadn't said anything nice to ya.
[He just turns his gaze on McGillis with a tacit; explain yourself motherfucker.]
[ McGillis raises an eyebrow at the implicit question. ]
I'm stubborn and I don't like leaving things unfinished.
[ That's the explanation for the palace, there you go. For a lot of it, McGillis was treating it as a puzzle and a challenge - something to be won and overcome in the same way he'd want to win and overcome anything else.
But unfortunately it doesn't end there. Now that he's accepted the olive branch and resigned himself to having this conversation for real, McGillis also finds himself relaxing. Or should that be giving up? Giving in? ]
And you reminded me of someone I knew.
[ NONE OF THIS IS TOUCHING THE CURRENT POST-MURDER-ATTEMPT STATE BUT WE'LL GET THERE. MAYBE. ]
[If he'd been forced to guess McGillis's reasoning... Well he wouldn't have had a lot ideas because he's not that smart, though "pure stubbornness" maybe he'd have arrived at. The second reason surprises him more.]
Well, it's hard not to liken you to Gaelio with matters like this.
[ So there's that. But Izou copes much differently from Gaelio and their personalities are night and day, the overlay begins and ends with the way McGillis and Izou pick at each other's complimentary wounds. ]
Not who I meant though. The man I'm thinking of is the most gifted mobile suit pilot I've ever seen - a fighter beyond compare, a gale wind in a rotten world... And a pack animal through and through.
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[Like a day or two after Argenti Palace]
When McGillis opens the door (presuming he does), he'll find Izou standing there looking especially casual. Though he's still got Hizen slung at his hip, he's not wearing his hakama over his kimono, and he's got house slippers on. Even that much suggests he's not here to fight, but the bottle of sake and two cups he's holding cements it.]
I gotta talk to you.
[It's not a request.]
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And thus, McGillis opens his door to find the person he least expected to see in a manner that is honestly more unsettling than being visited by him in full manslayer mode.
For a moment, he just looks between the slippers and the cups, dead silent. ]
... do you now.
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Aah. And it's probably better it's in private. I know you got no reason to trust me in a situation like that so I brought a peace offerin'.
[He holds up the liquor.]
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He crosses his arms... or begins to and then thinks better of it, because the position is still uncomfortable. ]
Well, at least I know you're not coward enough to come and poison me when you could as well have the satisfaction of cutting me down.
[ So that's... one positive judgement of character there? After another moment of hesitation, he steps aside. The room has been tidied up since their unfortunate run-in, but the battle damage still shows in the door area. Otherwise, it's so clean and sterile that it's hard to tell anybody even lives there. ]
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He huffs at the slightly backhanded confident but does come inside. He sits down like he belongs there, because that's the sort of unearned confidence Okada Izou generally carries himself with, before opening the bottle and filling both cups.]
You go into any of those weird doors that popped up in the Nekiya this week?
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Yes. They were fairly hard to miss.
[ With the door now closed, he comes over and sits down at the head end of his bed, well in reach of the desk Izou is sitting at. The room is not particularly big after all. Jordi's side of it has gone entirely untouched since his death. ]
Say your piece.
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... Y'know I'm not good with talkin' shit out and there's a lot of weird shit I could ask you about, but...
[Might as well start with something a little more surface level;]
Why the hell didn't you ever say anything when me an' Eli poke at you fer bein' some fancy silver spoon rich boy?
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Why would I have? The Fareed family is one of the most influential and wealthy families in my world. Functionally, I am what you call me.
[ Here, he takes a sip of sake, because yeah. He doesn't drink a lot, but this is not tolerable totally sober. ]
Besides, I did not owe either of you any explanations, did I now?
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You don't owe us shit, but don't you owe it to yerself ta not have to suffer a buncha judgement and jibes based on the assumption you don't know shit about what the common man has ta deal with?
[He's not going to point out the obvious matter of McGillis not being born into wealth because obviously McGillis knows that.]
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[ McGillis actually smiles at that, though it's sarcastic. ]
I've been listening to what the rich and powerful have to say about people like me day in and out. Some of them say it in earshot just to hurt me, because they assume I'm a bastard fathered on some serving girl. Some of it say it directly to me in confidence, under the mistaken assumption of equality.
You were just turning the tables a little. Nothing you say could have been so nasty that I haven't heard it all before.
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McGills is acting like he's heard it so much that it doesn't bother him, but Izou isn't sure he believes that. Maybe it's true and McGillis is just harder to anger.]
And when I tried to kill you it still didn't seem like somethin' worth bringing up?
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[ Though Izou is not wrong. In that moment, it really did get to him. He'd been tired of it, not belonging on either side of the fence. He'd wanted to shout it at Izou, but neither of them were in the mindset to have a conversation of any kind of coherence.
But admitting that is admitting weakness, so he won't. ]
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[He downs most of his cup in one swig before continuing.]
But it's obviously more complicated than that. You were gutter trash they picked up at one point, too.
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I was. And then I clawed my way out of that gutter up to the top of Gjallarhorn. Soldiers have fought and died for me and my revolution.
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[GIVING FURTHER CONTEXT TO WHAT HE SAID BACK IN ARGENTI'S PALACE.]
I didn't say it makes me not mad at you I said it makes shit more complicated.
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I killed Gaelio because I wanted to do it. Certainly, I engineered a situation in which his death would benefit my cause, but that was tangential.
[ McGillis empties his glass. ]
I knew from the day I was in your palace that you'd come to hate me eventually. What are you hoping to get out of these 'complications', Izou?
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[BINCH.]
And I got the sneaking suspicion that yer deliberately talking about what ya did using the words you think'll make me the angriest. I know a thing or two about pushin' people away. You ain't doin' it because you don't like me.
[Finishing his glass before refilling both his own and McGillis's.]
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But also: ]
I've never said I dislike you, have I?
[ This doesn't mean that he isn't consistently irritated and even outright angry at the person Izou has chosen to be, but it's... a lot more complex than dislike. If it were dislike, he'd have left him to that mirror. If it were dislike, he'd never have challenged him to come find him in the first place. ]
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Ya haven't. You wanna say it now?
[He had to swallow some of his own pride to come here. He's trying to open an actual conversation. But he's not magnanimous to pry it out of McGillis. If McGillis doesn't want to mend the bridge, Izou's giving him the out right now.]
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McGillis stares into his drink, because that's a better place to look than at the other man. ]
I do not.
[ It'd be a lie, and he's lied enough already. Mafuyu, Eli, Celeste and Argenti have all encouraged him to change himself - with varying word choices and varying intensity. He'll at least try to honor their efforts. ]
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Stupid choice if ya ask me. I tried to kill you, and I know you got the sense ta tell that if everyone else hadn't shown up I'd have died before I stopped trying.
[Taking another large sip.]
Even before that, you helped get me outta my palace when you barely knew me and I hadn't said anything nice to ya.
[He just turns his gaze on McGillis with a tacit; explain yourself motherfucker.]
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I'm stubborn and I don't like leaving things unfinished.
[ That's the explanation for the palace, there you go. For a lot of it, McGillis was treating it as a puzzle and a challenge - something to be won and overcome in the same way he'd want to win and overcome anything else.
But unfortunately it doesn't end there. Now that he's accepted the olive branch and resigned himself to having this conversation for real, McGillis also finds himself relaxing. Or should that be giving up? Giving in? ]
And you reminded me of someone I knew.
[ NONE OF THIS IS TOUCHING THE CURRENT POST-MURDER-ATTEMPT STATE BUT WE'LL GET THERE. MAYBE. ]
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... Yeah? The guy you killed or someone else?
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[ So there's that. But Izou copes much differently from Gaelio and their personalities are night and day, the overlay begins and ends with the way McGillis and Izou pick at each other's complimentary wounds. ]
Not who I meant though. The man I'm thinking of is the most gifted mobile suit pilot I've ever seen - a fighter beyond compare, a gale wind in a rotten world... And a pack animal through and through.
[ He says this last bit with obvious disdain. ]
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Here I was thinkin' you were giving me and that guy a compliment until the last sentence. The hell does that even mean?
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cw csa
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cw suicide mention
cw suicide mention technically
cont suicide mentions???.
yeah anyone reading just assume that cw until we say otherwise
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