IC INBOX | McGillis Fareed

[vogelfrei]

@McGillis Fareed

monday

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ABOUT ME

Brigadier General, pilot, bird lover.

NOTE

I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Message @monday

Comments

[vogelfrei]

Well, it's hard not to liken you to Gaelio with matters like this.

[ So there's that. But Izou copes much differently from Gaelio and their personalities are night and day, the overlay begins and ends with the way McGillis and Izou pick at each other's complimentary wounds. ]

Not who I meant though. The man I'm thinking of is the most gifted mobile suit pilot I've ever seen - a fighter beyond compare, a gale wind in a rotten world... And a pack animal through and through.

[ He says this last bit with obvious disdain. ]

[goei]

[Izou perks up as McGillis talks only to deflate at the end.]

Here I was thinkin' you were giving me and that guy a compliment until the last sentence. The hell does that even mean?

[vogelfrei]

[ It's still a compliment because McGillis does think Mikazuki's way of fighting is beautiful! Not that he's going to try and hammer that home right now, inflating Izou's ego is not his priority. ]

He'd go where his leader tells him to go and nowhere else. His power is without direction. He uses it only for his 'family' and lacks vision beyond that. It's a waste.

[goei]

Without direction? What the hell is wrong with fighting for and protecting just yer own family? Sounds like he's got plenty direction ta me.

[Like sure, the Kinnou-tou was fighting to change all of Japan, but Izou couldn't be bothered to care about hypothetical people he didn't even know. He was doing it because Ryouma wanted it, and because Ryouma and Takechi and everyone else said it would be good for Tosa. Good for everyone falling victim to the ruling class. Which meant good for the people he cared about.]

1/2

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis actually laughs at that. ]

There's a reason I think he and you are like.

[vogelfrei]

[ And after another large swig of sake: ]

True freedom from everything and everyone that ties you down is what gives you the power to change the world. True power is pure and solitary.

... and yet I'm here.

[ Died to a man fighting for love, fallen victim to his own affections, summoned by the goddess of community, and drinking with a man who tried to kill him. The whole true freedom thing isn't going great for him. ]

[goei]

[Izou finishes his second cup and slams it a little too heavily down on the desk before looking back at McGillis.]

That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard!

[He jabs a slightly inebriated finger in McGillis's direction.]

Even if that IS true, what the hell's the point of having "true power" if ya don't have anything or anyone ta use it for!?

[vogelfrei]

[ Ahh, finally he can feel superior to Izou again because Izou's blood runs hot where McGillis' is cold. Or so he tells himself, but he brightens up at being provoked into this argument... like a man who also isn't sober anymore, oops. ]

You use it for yourself, and for ideals. This is why you don't have vision.

[ You use it to make yourself untouchable. You use it to feel safe, for once in your miserable life. ]

[goei]

[ENJOY YOUR MORAL VICTORY WHILE YOU CAN MCGILLIS!]

Yeah, yeah, I'm some feral dog on a leash and you're some big important fuckhead with yer fancy ideals and "vision," I got it!

And how the hell did all that go for you?? Cause I don't think I've seen you smile properly once in all the weeks we've been here!

[vogelfrei]

[ ... hey, what.

McGillis actually looks genuinely perplexed by this assessment, and he's drunk enough to not mask it. ]

...and how do you think you can tell?

[goei]

Obviously. Cause of Ryouma. I've known that idiot since we were kids, and he's done the same shit blending in with the rich and powerful folks. I can tell when he's actually smiling and when he's just puttin' one on fer appearances. Yer doing the same shit.

[This is a flawed theory but hey. If it works?]

[vogelfrei]

[ It worked well enough to throw McGillis off his game, at least. ]

Ah... Gaelio called it a mask. Said it frustrated him.

[ And here we are again, with a lot of other men existing in the room as specters. ]

... not that he could tell that I was still hiding the truth about myself and my father from him, even in private. He was satisfied scratching off the first layer and leaving it at that.

[goei]

[Ah. Speaking of that freak.]

Y'mean the creepy dolls and the fact that he bought you?

[IZOU YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT.]

cw csa

[vogelfrei]

[ ... he'd almost felt safe and now, there it is. He brought it up himself because he relaxed too much.

No way to retreat now. ]

It's not dolls in the real world. It's other blonde boys, because he has a fetish.

1/???

[goei]

[Ah. Then that means.

And what the little McGillis said....]

2/???

[goei]

[THEN.... EVEN AFTER HE STOPPED BEING "FOR SALE" HE WAS...]

3/???

[goei]

[HE GOT "SAVED" FROM THE STREETS.....

BUT THEN WASN'T EVEN ACTUALLY SAFE IN HIS OWN HOME??????]

4/???

[goei]

[Izou stands up, only to grab McGillis's cup and refill it even if it's not empty.]

5/5

[goei]

[He then sits back down and jabs a finger at McGillis again, though the direction of his anger has changed.]

Tell me you killed that fucking guy.
[There's a hoarse rasp in his voice that doesn't come out often because it's the sound of of Izou holding back from yelling.]

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis watches Izou's expressions shift and twist in mild interest, detached as though none of this had anything to do with him. It's amusing how expressive the other man is, how every feeling shows so clearly on his face the moment it appears.

Isn't it inconvenient to wear your heart on your sleeve like that?, he wonders.

And then he's not really looking at Izou anymore, or at anything much. Iznario Fareed is alive - exiled but alive, and all too gleeful about ruining McGillis' standing further when it suits him. A tell-all on TV, de-legitimizing him. It's all a massive joke.

McGillis is quiet for a long moment, and then just settles on the simple truth: ]

Father is alive.

[ And McGillis is dead, and here. ]

[goei]

Do you want me to kill him? Just say the word.

[Izou in the palace: Don't tell me what to do
Izou now: I changed my mind tell me what to do.

The fact that McGillis's dad isn't here to kill is irrelevant as far as Izou is concerned. He'll find a way.]

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis pulls his legs up onto the bed and let's himself fall back against the wall with a heavy thump. Some of the drink winds up spilling because Izou did just fill his cup to the brim, but he doesn't pay it any mind right now. It just feels better to sit with something to lean on. ]

I don't need saving.

[ Even beyond all the impossible logistics here, that's the more important objection. ]

Don't get it into your head to pity me.

[goei]

I'm not pitying you. Yer a grown ass man who knows full well how ta kill people.

[But he knows sometimes... Certain people are hard to kill because of emotional reasons or whatever.]

But it's my job ta kill people who deserve it and I ain't never heard of someone who deserves it more.

[A child shouldn't have to have a grim face like that. A child shouldn't have to be in a situation where he was so desperate to chase after power.]

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis always told himself killing Iznario is inconvenient, because it'd immediately cast suspicion on him as the adopted heir. He'd be weakening his own position by lashing out against Iznario this way - exposing his corruption and getting him exiled was the best way to get back at him. The most convenient.

He doesn't dare think that there were other reasons he couldn't lay a hand on the man. ]

So which of us would you be killing first in this scenario? Father or son?

[ When confronted with something too painful to think about for longer than a second, McGillis falls back into provocation instead. He needs to put a wall up, and fast. ]

[goei]

[If Izou was more observant and analytical he'd notice McGillis keeps doing this. But alas, he is only a drunk little dog (and I rolled a fucking. One.)]

Obviously the other guy. [He will NOT call that man your father you weirdo.] If I killed you first you wouldn't be able ta pay me fer the job.