IC INBOX | McGillis Fareed

[vogelfrei]

@McGillis Fareed

monday

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ABOUT ME

Brigadier General, pilot, bird lover.

NOTE

I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Message @monday

Comments

[goei]

[Wow at least take the glass Izou poured you, now he has to actively hold it out to you!!!]

... Y'know I'm not good with talkin' shit out and there's a lot of weird shit I could ask you about, but...

[Might as well start with something a little more surface level;]

Why the hell didn't you ever say anything when me an' Eli poke at you fer bein' some fancy silver spoon rich boy?

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis contemplates just letting Izou hold it awkwardly until he has to give up, but then he decides he needs a drink a lot more than he needs to be petty. He takes the glass. ]

Why would I have? The Fareed family is one of the most influential and wealthy families in my world. Functionally, I am what you call me.

[ Here, he takes a sip of sake, because yeah. He doesn't drink a lot, but this is not tolerable totally sober. ]

Besides, I did not owe either of you any explanations, did I now?

[goei]

[See, while the sake was ALSO a peace offering, Izou also figured this conversation would be easier for both parties if they weren't 100% sober. He doesn't want to be either.]

You don't owe us shit, but don't you owe it to yerself ta not have to suffer a buncha judgement and jibes based on the assumption you don't know shit about what the common man has ta deal with?

[He's not going to point out the obvious matter of McGillis not being born into wealth because obviously McGillis knows that.]

[vogelfrei]

You think a few barbs like that would hurt me?

[ McGillis actually smiles at that, though it's sarcastic. ]

I've been listening to what the rich and powerful have to say about people like me day in and out. Some of them say it in earshot just to hurt me, because they assume I'm a bastard fathered on some serving girl. Some of it say it directly to me in confidence, under the mistaken assumption of equality.

You were just turning the tables a little. Nothing you say could have been so nasty that I haven't heard it all before.

[goei]

[When it comes to this particular issue, he can't compare to McGillis, really. He was generally afforded a small modicum of respect since the Okada's were technically samurai, but he'd certainly overheard people refer to him as "Takechi's charity case." or "Sakamoto's rabid dog." So at the very least he understands the feeling.

McGills is acting like he's heard it so much that it doesn't bother him, but Izou isn't sure he believes that. Maybe it's true and McGillis is just harder to anger.]

And when I tried to kill you it still didn't seem like somethin' worth bringing up?

[vogelfrei]

You weren't killing me for being rich, were you?

[ Though Izou is not wrong. In that moment, it really did get to him. He'd been tired of it, not belonging on either side of the fence. He'd wanted to shout it at Izou, but neither of them were in the mindset to have a conversation of any kind of coherence.

But admitting that is admitting weakness, so he won't. ]

[goei]

No. I was killing you fer reminding me of the rich and powerful politicians that recruited guys like me to fight and die for them.

[He downs most of his cup in one swig before continuing.]

But it's obviously more complicated than that. You were gutter trash they picked up at one point, too.

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis pauses, studying Izou's face for a moment. By now, he's admitted to coming from a bad background to a few people in Sunset City, but never in any amount of detail. Never anywhere close to what he knows Izou saw, even if he doesn't feel like being forthcoming about remembering that encounter.]

I was. And then I clawed my way out of that gutter up to the top of Gjallarhorn. Soldiers have fought and died for me and my revolution.

[goei]

Yeah, idiot, that doesn't make you like Takechi sensei and Katsu sensei. It makes you like Ryouma.

[GIVING FURTHER CONTEXT TO WHAT HE SAID BACK IN ARGENTI'S PALACE.]

I didn't say it makes me not mad at you I said it makes shit more complicated.

[vogelfrei]

[ Well. That's the second time Izou has willingly made this comparison, and this time with even more conviction than the last. McGillis had always known he was predestined for this comparison (or at the very least for drawing projected hatred specifically), but he hadn't expected Izou to double down on it in value-neutral (?) contexts as well. Hm. ]

I killed Gaelio because I wanted to do it. Certainly, I engineered a situation in which his death would benefit my cause, but that was tangential.

[ McGillis empties his glass. ]

I knew from the day I was in your palace that you'd come to hate me eventually. What are you hoping to get out of these 'complications', Izou?

[goei]

Well fer one I don't like it when other people think they get ta decide how I'm supposed ta feel.

[BINCH.]

And I got the sneaking suspicion that yer deliberately talking about what ya did using the words you think'll make me the angriest. I know a thing or two about pushin' people away. You ain't doin' it because you don't like me.

[Finishing his glass before refilling both his own and McGillis's.]

[vogelfrei]

[ DON'T?? CALL HIM OUT???

But also: ]

I've never said I dislike you, have I?

[ This doesn't mean that he isn't consistently irritated and even outright angry at the person Izou has chosen to be, but it's... a lot more complex than dislike. If it were dislike, he'd have left him to that mirror. If it were dislike, he'd never have challenged him to come find him in the first place. ]

[goei]

[GET CALLED OUT, IDIOT.]

Ya haven't. You wanna say it now?

[He had to swallow some of his own pride to come here. He's trying to open an actual conversation. But he's not magnanimous to pry it out of McGillis. If McGillis doesn't want to mend the bridge, Izou's giving him the out right now.]

[vogelfrei]

[ It stings when Izou is being the mature person in a conversation. McGillis wants to go back to provoking him into pointing swords, with all 'complications' well-existent but buried deep underneath more easily processed sentiments.

McGillis stares into his drink, because that's a better place to look than at the other man. ]

I do not.

[ It'd be a lie, and he's lied enough already. Mafuyu, Eli, Celeste and Argenti have all encouraged him to change himself - with varying word choices and varying intensity. He'll at least try to honor their efforts. ]

[goei]

[It's a shame McGillis is looking at his drink, because when he says those words, there's a slight but visible shift in Izou's posture, a relaxing of muscles, a sense of relief.]

Stupid choice if ya ask me. I tried to kill you, and I know you got the sense ta tell that if everyone else hadn't shown up I'd have died before I stopped trying.

[Taking another large sip.]

Even before that, you helped get me outta my palace when you barely knew me and I hadn't said anything nice to ya.

[He just turns his gaze on McGillis with a tacit; explain yourself motherfucker.]

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis raises an eyebrow at the implicit question. ]

I'm stubborn and I don't like leaving things unfinished.

[ That's the explanation for the palace, there you go. For a lot of it, McGillis was treating it as a puzzle and a challenge - something to be won and overcome in the same way he'd want to win and overcome anything else.

But unfortunately it doesn't end there. Now that he's accepted the olive branch and resigned himself to having this conversation for real, McGillis also finds himself relaxing. Or should that be giving up? Giving in? ]

And you reminded me of someone I knew.

[ NONE OF THIS IS TOUCHING THE CURRENT POST-MURDER-ATTEMPT STATE BUT WE'LL GET THERE. MAYBE. ]

[goei]

[If he'd been forced to guess McGillis's reasoning... Well he wouldn't have had a lot ideas because he's not that smart, though "pure stubbornness" maybe he'd have arrived at. The second reason surprises him more.]

... Yeah? The guy you killed or someone else?

[vogelfrei]

Well, it's hard not to liken you to Gaelio with matters like this.

[ So there's that. But Izou copes much differently from Gaelio and their personalities are night and day, the overlay begins and ends with the way McGillis and Izou pick at each other's complimentary wounds. ]

Not who I meant though. The man I'm thinking of is the most gifted mobile suit pilot I've ever seen - a fighter beyond compare, a gale wind in a rotten world... And a pack animal through and through.

[ He says this last bit with obvious disdain. ]

[goei]

[Izou perks up as McGillis talks only to deflate at the end.]

Here I was thinkin' you were giving me and that guy a compliment until the last sentence. The hell does that even mean?

[vogelfrei]

[ It's still a compliment because McGillis does think Mikazuki's way of fighting is beautiful! Not that he's going to try and hammer that home right now, inflating Izou's ego is not his priority. ]

He'd go where his leader tells him to go and nowhere else. His power is without direction. He uses it only for his 'family' and lacks vision beyond that. It's a waste.

[goei]

Without direction? What the hell is wrong with fighting for and protecting just yer own family? Sounds like he's got plenty direction ta me.

[Like sure, the Kinnou-tou was fighting to change all of Japan, but Izou couldn't be bothered to care about hypothetical people he didn't even know. He was doing it because Ryouma wanted it, and because Ryouma and Takechi and everyone else said it would be good for Tosa. Good for everyone falling victim to the ruling class. Which meant good for the people he cared about.]

1/2

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis actually laughs at that. ]

There's a reason I think he and you are like.

[vogelfrei]

[ And after another large swig of sake: ]

True freedom from everything and everyone that ties you down is what gives you the power to change the world. True power is pure and solitary.

... and yet I'm here.

[ Died to a man fighting for love, fallen victim to his own affections, summoned by the goddess of community, and drinking with a man who tried to kill him. The whole true freedom thing isn't going great for him. ]

[goei]

[Izou finishes his second cup and slams it a little too heavily down on the desk before looking back at McGillis.]

That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard!

[He jabs a slightly inebriated finger in McGillis's direction.]

Even if that IS true, what the hell's the point of having "true power" if ya don't have anything or anyone ta use it for!?

[vogelfrei]

[ Ahh, finally he can feel superior to Izou again because Izou's blood runs hot where McGillis' is cold. Or so he tells himself, but he brightens up at being provoked into this argument... like a man who also isn't sober anymore, oops. ]

You use it for yourself, and for ideals. This is why you don't have vision.

[ You use it to make yourself untouchable. You use it to feel safe, for once in your miserable life. ]