IC INBOX | OKADA IZOU

[goei]

@Izou

manslayer

---

ABOUT ME

The strongest, most genius swordsman to ever haunt the streets of Kyoto! That's me! So you better think twice before crossing me, ya hear?

NOTE

As long as you don't get in my way I won't kill you, probably.

Message @manslayer

Comments

[beathollow]

... I just... wanted to check on you. Do you need anything...?

[goei]

'M fine. Besides I ain't gonna ask you to get me something when yer mad at me.

[HE MAY BE STUPID BUT HE CAN AT LEAST TELL THAT MUCH.]

[beathollow]

I am upset. But I still care.

[goei]

McGillis is worse off than me. I've survived worse than this.

[beathollow]

...

( she leans over and flicks his forehead. )

"I've endured worse" does not mean "I am okay".

I LOST THIS TAG HELP

[goei]

[Yeouch]

Oi! Listen-

[Ok, it's Mafuyu, so;]

"Good enough"'s all I really deserve right now, ain't it?

BITES U (no)

[beathollow]

It's not about "deserve".

[goei]

Don't act like you ain't mad at me fer what I did.

[beathollow]

I am. I have not denied that. I'm mad at Mcgillis, too.

That doesn't mean... you deserve to be mistreated because of it.

[goei]

I ain't bein' mistreated. I got healed up. Don't mean ya gotta coddle me.

If yer mad, you aughta get mad properly.

[beathollow]

I-

It doesn't matter. I'm not the one you attacked.

[goei]

Yeah, and I'm not the guy that big blond bastard betrayed! People don't just get mad about stuff that happened ta them directly.

If ya wanna shout, do it!

[beathollow]

I don't want to. I just- why is it so bad that I want to check on you? I don't understand.

[goei]

Cause I wanna understand what ya think about all of it. If yer mad at McGillis too, then what's wrong with what I did?

[HE'S TRYING TO GET INTO YOUR BRAIN MAFUYU]

[beathollow]

... He shouldn't have done any of that, and it was cruel. But I don't like violence. I don't. I-

( ...there's an uncharacteristic waver in her voice. )

I want to be a nurse. ( she thinks. ) I don't want to see people get hurt, even if they did something awful, and I don't like all the fighting happening here all the time. But I can still care about you.

[goei]

[Ah, there's an answer he can at least work with.]

... Makes sense. Even in the Nekiya yer always supportin' everyone else before you ever try attacking yerself.

[That said.]

As long as I can remember, I was swingin' a sword. So it's hard not ta try solving all my problems with it. Even when it's not the best solution. I get angry and it's all I can think ta do.

[beathollow]

... There's that and also- I'm used to regular, stationary targets? Not... monsters. But if I can keep everyone healed or safer for just a bit longer- it's worth it.

( ... )

I- I know.

[goei]

So ya really don't ever think "things would be better if that person was gone"? Like I know yer not ever gonna kill anybody, but what if ya thought more people'd be hurt or killed if that person wasn't?

cw suicide ideation

[beathollow]

The only person I've ever wanted dead was myself.

... I'm working on it.

cw: also suicidal ideation and mentions of torture

[goei]

[Finally excavating the depths of my buried inbox!!

Anyway, Izou frowns. He isn't sure what the right thing to do in this sort of situation is, so he just... tentatively holds out a hand. If she wants it.]

I dunno if it helps at all... but even though when I was gettin' tortured I sometimes had that kinda thought... [Which haha. He hasn't mentioned before but that sure happened.] When it actually came time for it, the only think I could think about was how I didn't wanna die.

[What he's trying to say is, when faced with actual death, you'll probably regret wanting it.]