... He shouldn't have done any of that, and it was cruel. But I don't like violence. I don't. I-
( ...there's an uncharacteristic waver in her voice. )
I want to be a nurse. ( she thinks. ) I don't want to see people get hurt, even if they did something awful, and I don't like all the fighting happening here all the time. But I can still care about you.
[Ah, there's an answer he can at least work with.]
... Makes sense. Even in the Nekiya yer always supportin' everyone else before you ever try attacking yerself.
[That said.]
As long as I can remember, I was swingin' a sword. So it's hard not ta try solving all my problems with it. Even when it's not the best solution. I get angry and it's all I can think ta do.
... There's that and also- I'm used to regular, stationary targets? Not... monsters. But if I can keep everyone healed or safer for just a bit longer- it's worth it.
So ya really don't ever think "things would be better if that person was gone"? Like I know yer not ever gonna kill anybody, but what if ya thought more people'd be hurt or killed if that person wasn't?
[Finally excavating the depths of my buried inbox!!
Anyway, Izou frowns. He isn't sure what the right thing to do in this sort of situation is, so he just... tentatively holds out a hand. If she wants it.]
I dunno if it helps at all... but even though when I was gettin' tortured I sometimes had that kinda thought... [Which haha. He hasn't mentioned before but that sure happened.] When it actually came time for it, the only think I could think about was how I didn't wanna die.
[What he's trying to say is, when faced with actual death, you'll probably regret wanting it.]
I LOST THIS TAG HELP
Oi! Listen-
[Ok, it's Mafuyu, so;]
"Good enough"'s all I really deserve right now, ain't it?
BITES U (no)
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That doesn't mean... you deserve to be mistreated because of it.
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If yer mad, you aughta get mad properly.
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It doesn't matter. I'm not the one you attacked.
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If ya wanna shout, do it!
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[HE'S TRYING TO GET INTO YOUR BRAIN MAFUYU]
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( ...there's an uncharacteristic waver in her voice. )
I want to be a nurse. ( she thinks. ) I don't want to see people get hurt, even if they did something awful, and I don't like all the fighting happening here all the time. But I can still care about you.
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... Makes sense. Even in the Nekiya yer always supportin' everyone else before you ever try attacking yerself.
[That said.]
As long as I can remember, I was swingin' a sword. So it's hard not ta try solving all my problems with it. Even when it's not the best solution. I get angry and it's all I can think ta do.
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( ... )
I- I know.
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cw suicide ideation
... I'm working on it.
cw: also suicidal ideation and mentions of torture
Anyway, Izou frowns. He isn't sure what the right thing to do in this sort of situation is, so he just... tentatively holds out a hand. If she wants it.]
I dunno if it helps at all... but even though when I was gettin' tortured I sometimes had that kinda thought... [Which haha. He hasn't mentioned before but that sure happened.] When it actually came time for it, the only think I could think about was how I didn't wanna die.
[What he's trying to say is, when faced with actual death, you'll probably regret wanting it.]