[ McGillis is meticulous, just as a person. This really serves him well in the early holes where the calculations for ball trajectory are pretty straight-forward. The first five holes pass almost uneventfully - McGillis takes the lead (like he secretly never doubted he would), but Izou is putting up a good fight.
Then Hole 6 appears in their way. Hole 6 features a windmill in the middle of the track, intermittently obscuring it. The windmill is flashing neon, and has several encouraging slogans appear on its side like "OOPS" and "TRY AGAIN". Making matters worse, its spin speed varies. There's certainly a pattern to it, but McGillis hasn't got it yet and-- ]
Oh, come on.
[ This is his fourth stroke and there we go. Here is what Izou has been waiting for. A genuine frown of frustration. ]
[Izou grins like this was all part of his plan and actually he was losing on purpose so he can come back and take the lead!!! (It was not, he's full of shit.]
Heh, step aside and watch a professional work!
[BECAUSE WHAT ARE THOSE ON THE WINDMILL? BLADES! HE CAN READ THE MOTION OF THOSE NO PROBLEM!!! Izou watches them for a moment before winding up for one of his overzealous putts. It shoots through the gap effortlessly.]
[NOOO DON'T JUST GET DEPRESSED YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET ANGRY AND SEXY ABOUT IT!!!
As they reach the next hole, which requires hitting the ball over a ramp hard enough that the ball doesn't fall into a ravine below, Izou cozies up to McGillis because I wasn't kidding about the foreplay.]
C'mon, don't get sulky on me just cause you fell behind. You ain't gonna give up that easy, are ya?
[ You need to give him a moment here! He's unfortunately the kind of person who's always been extremely good at everything he did - through hard effort primarily, but also through a measure of talent. That his base skills he has assembled through his life would fail him here is embarrassing!!
At least a little teasing from Izou gets him right back to his feet. ]
You wish. We're barely halfway.
[ His expression is not beating the 'sulky' allegations, and now it's Izou's turn to totally have his flirting ignored because somebody got Into The Game.
At least the test of strength does not phase McGillis much - he does like brute force! But from here on out, with animatronic challenges coming at them every other hole, he'll definitely be more challenged. And more focused. Is it angry and sexy? Who knows. It's intense at least. ]
[Yeah the intensity is pretty sexy as long as he doesn't keep being so intense that he ignores the flirting.]
You kiddin' me? It wouldn't be fun unless you keep fightin' till the end.
[How have they made minigolf vaguely sexual. Anyway McGillis isn't catching up this hole because the ramp hazard is no match for Izou's overly aggressive swing.]
[ This is it. The ultimate showdown of Power(TM). CRAZY MIKE's challenge, the obstacle that stands between them and a new world. Their clubs, their swords. Their hearts, filled with determination.
And then the next hole is one of those challenges where you have to hit your ball into one of various swirly angled tubes but only one goes right to the hole while the others are disadvantageous or outright send the ball back to you.
McGillis looks at the hole and he sees his chance. This is a precision challenge... and infuriatingly, McGillis smirks at Izou and... actually manages a hole in one. He looks so punchable right now. ]
[Stop making shonen speeches in your head about mini golf, McGillis!!!
And yeah, that smug look is the exact opposite of what he was aiming for!! Like it's warranted but!!! How's he going to top that!!! At least he knows the tube that McGillis's ball went into goes to the hole. But the question is can he replicate the shot?
He lines up carefully, and... the ball goes in the correct tube!]
Hah! How d'you like that!!
[And yet, somehow, his shot is ever so slightly off, and misses the hole, richochets off the back wall, and back into a different tube that deposits his ball almost all the way back where it started.]
That's... that was incredible? How is it even possible to get it so right and so wrong at the same time?
McGillis' hand goes up to his mouth in shock and because-- because he's laughing. Real actual straight-up laughter of pure amusement. Nothing ironic and twisted for once, just genuine mirth. ]
[On the one hand, his loss in this moment has never been so absolute, he's being laughed at! Mocked!! There's nothing he hates more!!!
On the other hand, McGillis is laughing??? Like genuinely having a good time??? How is he supposed to feel?]
I- That's right!! You better stand in awe at the power of Manslayer Izou!!!
[He just sort of short circuited, flushing a little as he defaults to his usual boasting before marching after his ball and attempting the shot again. He AGAIN nails the correct tube, but this time his ball stops just short of the hole, eliciting a shout of frustration before stomping up to the main green to knock his ball in, finally.]
[ Oh no, he just defaulted to his catchphrase somehow... It's... cute? It's cute.
McGillis feels reinvigorated by this. He approaches Hole 9 with an easy swing in his steps. They're halfway now and it's still pretty close, so the competition remains entertaining.
The next hole is one of those where the ground is uneven and painted in glowing colors to make it harder to tell exactly where the hills and valleys are. This gets McGillis back into game mode, spending an unnecessarily long time before tee-ing off just looking from different angles.
... and then it still doesn't go how he wants it to go because there's a dent in the floor that has nothing to do with the up-and-down design. It's just because this is a well-used golf-course. Curse CRAZY MIKE and his lack of repairs! McGillis huffs in frustration. ]
If they have money for all the glowing nonsense, they could at least make sure the lanes are well-maintained.
They probably figure it's just a free bonus hazard. But anyway, yer thinkin' too hard. Watch this!
[He marches up to the tee with his ball... Then winds up like this is a regular golf club?? This sends his ball airborne, sailing easily over all the uneven terrain! And into the pond behind the hole.]
[It's as if a switch flipped in Izou at those words. Right!! They have to give the ball back or else McGillis's going to have to pay some sort of fine! He's been given a task!!!]
On it!
[He shucks off his hoodie, which he throws at McGillis, and steps out of his shoes before jogging doggedly over and jumping into the waist high water, and fishing his ball out. Basically all of him is wet now except for his head, which is tragic because now we'll never know if he'd shake off like a dog.
[ IZOU?? McGillis really thought that he'd be more grouchy about getting in the water. Instead he's greeted by this bright smile...? Come on. That's just disarming. ]
This isn't basketball, in case you forgot.
[ Judging by his light-hearted tone and faint smile, he's going to let it count though. As repayment for getting drenched.
McGillis comes up to the edge of the pond himself, so he can hold out his hand for Izou to get back out of the doubtlessly too-chilly water. Briefly he considers that Izou might take advantage of this and try to pull him in, but he's currently holding onto both of their phones so... Hopefully not? ]
[Well I wasn't thinking of that but given Izou's brand of evil is generally unplanned acts of violence he very well could attempt that, forgetting about the phones. However, McGillis is much bigger than him, so maybe that dissuades him? Or maybe because pulling someone headfirst into a shallow pond is asking for a head injury and Mafuyu and Celeste would both scold him if he made another attempt on this man's life. So McGillis's hand is simply used for the intended purpose of removing dog from pond.]
Well I think I aughta be rewarded for my creativity!
[ Well, McGillis is glad to have his dripping wet dog removed from the pond. He truly jumped in there with no hesitation at all... Trouble child, indeed. ]
Well, if you put it that way... Congratulations on our good 'shot'.
[ Look at how lenient he can be! Nobody better call him uptight anymore. ]
But don't think that means I've thrown the match - there is still holes to go, and I plan on beating you.
[ Preferably fast, because it's early October and Izou should probably get somewhere dry and warm soon-ish. ]
[Probably! At least his dry hoodie will help a little in keeping him from freezing completely? And once his feet dry off he can put his shoes on because he wasn't wearing socks under his loafers because he's a lunatic.
The next couple holes are relatively uneventful, it remains relatively neck in neck, and if Izou is starting to feel the cold, he is bravely not showing it. They have arrived at hole 14... Home of the Cyber Gorilla. There's the safe path through his legs that lead down a winding path that will take at least one other shot to reach the hole... Or the riskier path that leads to where the Gorilla's hand sometimes swoops down... With the right timing, it'll deposit it right into the hole.
So of course Izou aims for that! He's good at reading timing! Easy win!]
Put my ball right in the hole you damn monkey!
[He strikes! The ball goes right up the path into the gorilla paw! And. Stays there? It got stuck in-between two fingers.]
[ McGillis has been playing the winding path, which took him two strokes to the hole but at least reliably did so. No trust for animatronics. He said the gorilla would not affect his strategy and he cannot go back on his word!!
And he seems to have made the right choice, with how CRAZY MIKE's minions seem so keen on betraying them.
For a moment, McGillis just looks at Izou's frustrated face with some satisfaction, but then he decides to make use of his freakish height to go fish Izou's poor mistreated ball from an animatronic paw. A moving animatronic paw. He very narrowly escapes being bitchslapped by CRAZY MIKE's pet. Whoops.
He's going to just plop the ball into the hole though. This one wasn't on Izou. ]
If you call me a monkey for following your call, just know you are going for the low-hanging fruit.
[ That sounds... dangerously close to getting sentimental. Which is maybe not a thing he should start worrying about several hours into a romantic date he himself initiated. Ah well. ]
You're on. I look forward to hearing in great detail how well I map onto your extraordinarily high standards.
[ 'Extraordinarily high standards' does not have audible air quotes, but they are very much present in McGillis' mind.
The next hole has a number of obstacles, but through clever angles, McGillis manages to get it in two. He's really focused now. ]
[Oh no!! He wasn't actually expecting that to motivate McGillis so much. He's not as good at the angles as McGillis, so he takes three strokes. He's falling further behind!!! He doesn't actually want to admit how he feels!?
This means the next couple holes are played in relative silence as both emotionally unskilled men fight to avoid having to exposed themselves. This is a good and normal way to carry on a relationship!
Finally it's the 17th hole. The entire hole is a winding path lined with a winding river that'll wash the ball back to the tee, lit only by neon lights that flash on and off, plunging the path into darkness every few seconds.]
Okay, watch, this time my overhead gambits gonna work.
[He hasn't learned from his mistakes at all. But he actually??? Pulls it off this time?? No hole in one but he avoids the hassle of the path and his ball lands neatly next to the hole.]
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At least he manages to keep his cool enough to line up his shot properly and sink it this time so he's only losing by a little ]
Yeah well just you wait! I'm just gettin' warmed up!
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Then Hole 6 appears in their way. Hole 6 features a windmill in the middle of the track, intermittently obscuring it. The windmill is flashing neon, and has several encouraging slogans appear on its side like "OOPS" and "TRY AGAIN". Making matters worse, its spin speed varies. There's certainly a pattern to it, but McGillis hasn't got it yet and-- ]
Oh, come on.
[ This is his fourth stroke and there we go. Here is what Izou has been waiting for. A genuine frown of frustration. ]
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Heh, step aside and watch a professional work!
[BECAUSE WHAT ARE THOSE ON THE WINDMILL? BLADES! HE CAN READ THE MOTION OF THOSE NO PROBLEM!!! Izou watches them for a moment before winding up for one of his overzealous putts. It shoots through the gap effortlessly.]
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Well, okay. Izou can have this one. McGillis is just staring for a second. ]
... not bad.
[ This is absolutely said through grit teeth, before he... does not manage to finish the hole within stroke limit.
It seems like this is completely unprecedented levels of failure for him. He is straight up staring down at his club in disbelief. Help. ]
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As they reach the next hole, which requires hitting the ball over a ramp hard enough that the ball doesn't fall into a ravine below, Izou cozies up to McGillis because I wasn't kidding about the foreplay.]
C'mon, don't get sulky on me just cause you fell behind. You ain't gonna give up that easy, are ya?
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At least a little teasing from Izou gets him right back to his feet. ]
You wish. We're barely halfway.
[ His expression is not beating the 'sulky' allegations, and now it's Izou's turn to totally have his flirting ignored because somebody got Into The Game.
At least the test of strength does not phase McGillis much - he does like brute force! But from here on out, with animatronic challenges coming at them every other hole, he'll definitely be more challenged. And more focused. Is it angry and sexy? Who knows. It's intense at least. ]
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You kiddin' me? It wouldn't be fun unless you keep fightin' till the end.
[How have they made minigolf vaguely sexual. Anyway McGillis isn't catching up this hole because the ramp hazard is no match for Izou's overly aggressive swing.]
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[ This is it. The ultimate showdown of Power(TM). CRAZY MIKE's challenge, the obstacle that stands between them and a new world. Their clubs, their swords. Their hearts, filled with determination.
And then the next hole is one of those challenges where you have to hit your ball into one of various swirly angled tubes but only one goes right to the hole while the others are disadvantageous or outright send the ball back to you.
McGillis looks at the hole and he sees his chance. This is a precision challenge... and infuriatingly, McGillis smirks at Izou and... actually manages a hole in one. He looks so punchable right now. ]
Your move.
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And yeah, that smug look is the exact opposite of what he was aiming for!! Like it's warranted but!!! How's he going to top that!!! At least he knows the tube that McGillis's ball went into goes to the hole. But the question is can he replicate the shot?
He lines up carefully, and... the ball goes in the correct tube!]
Hah! How d'you like that!!
[And yet, somehow, his shot is ever so slightly off, and misses the hole, richochets off the back wall, and back into a different tube that deposits his ball almost all the way back where it started.]
-Oi!
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That's... that was incredible? How is it even possible to get it so right and so wrong at the same time?
McGillis' hand goes up to his mouth in shock and because-- because he's laughing. Real actual straight-up laughter of pure amusement. Nothing ironic and twisted for once, just genuine mirth. ]
That's... Your power is a sight to behold, yes.
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On the other hand, McGillis is laughing??? Like genuinely having a good time??? How is he supposed to feel?]
I- That's right!! You better stand in awe at the power of Manslayer Izou!!!
[He just sort of short circuited, flushing a little as he defaults to his usual boasting before marching after his ball and attempting the shot again. He AGAIN nails the correct tube, but this time his ball stops just short of the hole, eliciting a shout of frustration before stomping up to the main green to knock his ball in, finally.]
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McGillis feels reinvigorated by this. He approaches Hole 9 with an easy swing in his steps. They're halfway now and it's still pretty close, so the competition remains entertaining.
The next hole is one of those where the ground is uneven and painted in glowing colors to make it harder to tell exactly where the hills and valleys are. This gets McGillis back into game mode, spending an unnecessarily long time before tee-ing off just looking from different angles.
... and then it still doesn't go how he wants it to go because there's a dent in the floor that has nothing to do with the up-and-down design. It's just because this is a well-used golf-course. Curse CRAZY MIKE and his lack of repairs! McGillis huffs in frustration. ]
If they have money for all the glowing nonsense, they could at least make sure the lanes are well-maintained.
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[He marches up to the tee with his ball... Then winds up like this is a regular golf club?? This sends his ball airborne, sailing easily over all the uneven terrain! And into the pond behind the hole.]
....
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[ There it goes.... ]
These are rental and we're going to have to give them back, so...
[ Izou don't you want to go pond-climbing?? ]
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On it!
[He shucks off his hoodie, which he throws at McGillis, and steps out of his shoes before jogging doggedly over and jumping into the waist high water, and fishing his ball out. Basically all of him is wet now except for his head, which is tragic because now we'll never know if he'd shake off like a dog.
He then throws his ball into the hole. Cheater.]
Hole in one!
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This isn't basketball, in case you forgot.
[ Judging by his light-hearted tone and faint smile, he's going to let it count though. As repayment for getting drenched.
McGillis comes up to the edge of the pond himself, so he can hold out his hand for Izou to get back out of the doubtlessly too-chilly water. Briefly he considers that Izou might take advantage of this and try to pull him in, but he's currently holding onto both of their phones so... Hopefully not? ]
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Well I think I aughta be rewarded for my creativity!
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Well, if you put it that way... Congratulations on our good 'shot'.
[ Look at how lenient he can be! Nobody better call him uptight anymore. ]
But don't think that means I've thrown the match - there is still holes to go, and I plan on beating you.
[ Preferably fast, because it's early October and Izou should probably get somewhere dry and warm soon-ish. ]
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The next couple holes are relatively uneventful, it remains relatively neck in neck, and if Izou is starting to feel the cold, he is bravely not showing it. They have arrived at hole 14... Home of the Cyber Gorilla. There's the safe path through his legs that lead down a winding path that will take at least one other shot to reach the hole... Or the riskier path that leads to where the Gorilla's hand sometimes swoops down... With the right timing, it'll deposit it right into the hole.
So of course Izou aims for that! He's good at reading timing! Easy win!]
Put my ball right in the hole you damn monkey!
[He strikes! The ball goes right up the path into the gorilla paw! And. Stays there? It got stuck in-between two fingers.]
Oi! Don't ignore me!!!
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And he seems to have made the right choice, with how CRAZY MIKE's minions seem so keen on betraying them.
For a moment, McGillis just looks at Izou's frustrated face with some satisfaction, but then he decides to make use of his freakish height to go fish Izou's poor mistreated ball from an animatronic paw. A moving animatronic paw. He very narrowly escapes being bitchslapped by CRAZY MIKE's pet. Whoops.
He's going to just plop the ball into the hole though. This one wasn't on Izou. ]
If you call me a monkey for following your call, just know you are going for the low-hanging fruit.
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Never! But I still kinda want to loo that things arm off for trying ta stand in my way.
[He isn't making a move to do so, at least. Given they'd have to pay for the property damage.]
Real gentlemanly move on your part. You know how ta be charming when you wanna.
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McGillis returns to where Izou is standing and gives him a little grin. ]
It took you this long to feel charmed?
[ Newsflash: local manslayer will settle for nothing less than facing a gorilla for his honor. ]
I'm going to need to up my game.
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I mean, fer what a regular person expects. I got unique and specific tastes, y'know!
[Says the man who'd do whatever any of the pretty people here told him to if they gave him a little lip service.]
May if you win I'll tell you what I like about you. And you gotta do the same if I do.
[At least the next hole has no gorillas.]
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[ That sounds... dangerously close to getting sentimental. Which is maybe not a thing he should start worrying about several hours into a romantic date he himself initiated. Ah well. ]
You're on. I look forward to hearing in great detail how well I map onto your extraordinarily high standards.
[ 'Extraordinarily high standards' does not have audible air quotes, but they are very much present in McGillis' mind.
The next hole has a number of obstacles, but through clever angles, McGillis manages to get it in two. He's really focused now. ]
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This means the next couple holes are played in relative silence as both emotionally unskilled men fight to avoid having to exposed themselves. This is a good and normal way to carry on a relationship!
Finally it's the 17th hole. The entire hole is a winding path lined with a winding river that'll wash the ball back to the tee, lit only by neon lights that flash on and off, plunging the path into darkness every few seconds.]
Okay, watch, this time my overhead gambits gonna work.
[He hasn't learned from his mistakes at all. But he actually??? Pulls it off this time?? No hole in one but he avoids the hassle of the path and his ball lands neatly next to the hole.]
See! I just gotta warm up first!
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those of you reading along at home, there be nsfw soon
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cw allusions to csa
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