Have you heard of Idrila? I am one who follows them ardently, as a Knight of Beauty. If you ever wish to ask anything of me, I will gladly answer, and do my best to assist.
NOTE
The universe is filled with beauty. No matter where one is in the cosmos, this is a truth ingrained in existence itself. Therefore, I shall treasure every meeting between each and every beautiful soul I cross paths with.
[Sayaka isn't sure what sort of judgement she expects from Argenti, but...his words, they're surprisingly gentle. She listens to them dutifully, not sure what to expect--inwardly expecting rejection, some sort of rejection, because Argenti is such a good man, but...
It's strange, somehow, that there's a part of her that thinks he'll understand too. He also lived in quite the horrible life himself, after all. And isn't assuming the worst of people the entire reason that she got preyed upon by her managers?
Sayaka rubs her eyes a bit, chuckling a touch--his words really are the nicest thing that she's ever heard.]
...I'm trying very hard to, yes. I can't make up for what I've done, but at the very least, I...I can try to make sure it doesn't happen again. Because I don't want to be that person again. I spent so long chasing a dream to become someone who could make people smile, to lift people out of their loneliness just like idols did for me when my dad wouldn't come home at night.
I don't...want to get consumed by that level of want or need again. Or to hurt anyone, in the process of it. I want to do better, even if I don't exactly know the way how to. I want to take responsibility because I don't want people to keep seeing me as flawless. I want people to see me as I am, and if they don't like me after...I can live with it.
[...]
T-Thank you. For...believing in me so much, Argenti.
[ Indeed, Argenti believes his willingness to hear people out is a must - he has done that in all cases before, and there is no way he is going to treat Sayaka any different. Yes, people must take responsibility for their actions - they must own up to them. Anyone looking away from that, trying to act like it didn't result in a consequence, or even worse...
That is far worse.
Though he hasn't heard everything just yet, he can offer a fair judgment, without it sounding far too lenient, but also while it being gently understanding all the same. That it helps Sayaka at all, causes those tears to form, with her laughing a bit even makes him smile softly despite it all. ]
...I think it is also truly admirable that you are trying your best to better yourself.
[ This new Sayaka has decided to truly embrace a new chapter of her life. Even though the consequences of that pain will weigh on her soul for a time, she has spread her wings, and risen from the fallen ashes to reclaim herself.
And that, to him, is amazing in of itself. ]
Yes, I can say for certain that I detect the sincerity in those words, and your heart - that you wish to bring the light of Beauty to people's lives in your own way, as well as be seen as a person that is unequivocally you. That is why I can say that it is no trouble - I shall always have faith and belief in you. You believed in me too, remember? When I felt that there was no way forward for me, when I felt I failed you all, and everything that I was. I know your words are not just substance; I am living proof of it.
And I know how it feels, to want to see people as who I really am. No matter how difficult of a road is ahead of you, my dear friend, I know you shall accomplish all that you dream of.
[ So, of course, she has seen him at his worse, yet accepted him. Argenti doesn't think he could ever fear what darkness she has yet to show him in turn. ]
[Argenti's praise sends a practical flood of emotions through her--that he believes in her so readily and kindly, even knowing all that she's done, and it feels...
Loving. Caring in a way that Sayaka has never experienced before. Argenti has always provided that in his own way, in protecting her and wanting to keep her safe, but to feel it so readily now of all times...
...She really is a lucky girl.]
...I think that's why I became so insistent on saving you, when we were in your palace. Because I knew the weight of making mistakes like that; I knew how it could destroy someone from the inside out, if left to fester. And...nobody deserves that, you know? Especially someone who has always been so willing to see the good in people and fight for it. That's Beauty in it's own right, I think.
[When Sayaka smiles, there's a brightness in it that shines almost like a mirror of him; a mirror of that light, that beautiful, radiant sun that Sayaka admired for so long out of Argenti himself.]
I've really learned that...there's better in life. Better than I could have ever imagined, that I really could only get by severing away from my home and everything there that was chaining me down. I won't forget those things, but...I want to let them serve as my way to help guide others, so they never fall down that path themselves.
...You're very kind to me, Argenti, and I appreciate it. It's...more kindness than I've really ever experienced.
[It'll make the next part easier to explain, at least.]
That's honestly touching. Argenti has wondered why people did come, for some in the literal sense, and for some others it was more distantly - as he feels that they were definitely close enough to arrive for reasons pertaining to their possible attachment to him. Even if he wouldn't exactly consider himself worthy at the time (of which he has more or less mostly pushed aside such feelings by now, and having had time to properly recover.)
But, the fact that he knows that Sayaka's own at all now is nice, even if he doesn't necessarily think no one needed to tell him their reasons at all if they wished not to. The fact that she says there's Beauty in the way he is too? It gets him to smile, warmly. ]
...Your words touch my heart profoundly, Sayaka.
I am not certain if I can state how much so, but I appreciate them nonetheless.
[ After all, Argenti knows...there is a part of him that thought he deserved to let such emotions inside him overwhelm him, because he thought so many things. That he failed so much recently, that his fears could never be overcome as the result of his Path was inevitable due to his failures, that the despair growing in his heart would eclipse him. And finally, that he should have overcame it all alone. But... ]
Still, I am most happy you have found your own way, your desire to grasp your own happiness within your own hands.
And still also shine brightly as your own self, while now reaching out to help others. I only continue to hope you witness more moments of Beauty in your life, to continue along that path.
...Of course, as always, I am glad to shower you such deserved kindness. I am saddened you have yet to have had the opportunity until now, but I am glad to have you experience it now.
[ He is curious as to hear more on that, but Argenti knows he will be listening to it soon enough. ]
[Sayaka can't help but feel glad; it took a lot of work for her to get to this point to begin with, but to be able to share her progress--hell, even drag Argenti himself out of his own darkness, it means the world to Sayaka. To see a man who reached out to her be able to shine so brightly, like a radiant sun again...
It makes her feel happy.]
Don't mention it. I'm only giving back in kind what was given to me, you know?
[The praise makes Sayaka beam a bit, but...she can't get sidetracked. Her expression and resolve tighten again, and she'll begin the second part. The one that she worried about only slightly less, but was still very pivotal.]
...What I'm going to tell you next might...be concerning or a little unbelievable, but I can unfortunately promise you that everything I'm talking about is real. I've...got enough scars and bruises to prove it. But...
I did eventually get a scholarship, to a school known as Hope's Peak Academy. It was an academy that boasted only accepting the best of the best, and everyone who's ever went there has managed to make something incredible out of themselves. The fact that I received one...I took it as the opportunity I sorely needed to get out from under my manager's thumb and do something for myself.
...It turned out to be some kind of trap, though, given that me and fifteen others woke up after passing out in the entry way in different classrooms. We all met up there, confused about everything, before we were called into the gymnasium to greet the so-called headmaster. A robotic bear known as Monokuma.
[Beat.]
I can promise you, it's just as unbelievable as it sounds. The bear basically told us that we were going to be staying here for the rest of our lives, and that the only way out was to "graduate". Which...meant killing another student, to go back into the outside world.
None of us took the initial news well, to say the least. Least so after finding out that Monokuma wasn't nearly as harmless as he looked, after he nearly hurt one of my classmates when he exploded.
[This is...good, so far. Sayaka does start to fidget and worry at her sleeve a bit, though, leaving that in the air.]
[ Unbelievable, huh? Argenti has doubts that he'd find it unbelievable, considering he's experienced all kinds of things...though he will wait and just have to listen. Which, as Sayaka begins, it sounds like it is any other normal school - not that Argenti went to one - and then she mentions what else happened after that.
A sinister trap under the guise of an academic institution...he believes that this is the first he's heard of such a diabolical plot. ]
...How utterly wretched.
[ Argenti means every single word that he says here. How could he not? This kind of despicable behavior can't really be described as anything else except anything that appropriately termed it so. ]
I do not blame you for thinking it may sound so fantastical, but it is believable to me - unfortunate as it is.
I am just sorry you had to experience a situation with such a depraved individual.
This Monokuma...did you know who was behind the bear at all? Or rather, anyone who was aligned with him? And I assume, of course, others did not wish to follow his "alternative" in escaping?
[ Though, Argenti realizes that the opposite could be true... ]
...She's only a little surprised, but she's still so grateful and her tightened posture seems to slacken a bit in relief. It means so much to her to be believed, and Sayaka does her best to keep her composure. She's at least doing better than the time she straight up cried at the relief it brought her, but she does need to take a second to compose herself a bit.]
Unfortunately, I don't. I. Never wound up learning who was behind it, and I don't know about the other students...it's...
[Let's get a move on here.]
We didn't want to cooperate at all, at first, with what the bear wanted. We got a blessed few days to ourselves to explore the school and try to learn more about it, but it became clearer and clearer that we were going to be stuck there. We all made rules and such to minimize the chance of anyone getting the drop on someone, but...
A few days after, Monokuma, he...he introduced what he had hoped to be motivation for us to kill. It was these DVDs, that--they had a video of my group on the stage and knocked out due to Monokuma's influence. I never asked about the others, because...I...
[Her arms close in on herself, starting to shudder something fierce.]
...I started to try and make a plan to get out of there. To...kill someone, and frame it on someone else that I knew there. Who...trusted me.
[This next one's going to be rough. Give her a second, Argenti.]
[ ...It's rather unfortunate that she hadn't. But, Argenti also can't blame her for being unable to uncover that.
The situation must have been quite harrowing enough, after all. Though, it certainly is something he wished could have been resolved with a finality.
But, what's even more hard to swallow is Sayaka's direct confession - of her desire to want to kill someone, even at the urging of that wretched creature. It isn't exactly something he expected, all things considered. ]
...You mean to say you already knew someone had trusted in you.
[ So, her words imply she had a target in mind. Though, looking at her holding herself like that, Argenti waits a moment instead of immediately asking. Then, after that...
...There's only one other question for now, that he thinks to ask: ]
Did you try going through with it?
[ That's another important part of it all, right? One can say that they planned something, but it is another matter entirely in pursuing it. ]
...There was a boy named Naegi-kun who went to the same middle school as me, and we ended up there together. To be honest, it was a little nice to see someone familiar there, but it was...
[...]
He...very clearly idolized me. I don't blame him for it, but he was very fond of me and wanted to keep me safe. And my brain went into that same mode that it went into for ruining lives, when he made his devotion clear to me.
[Sayaka takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.]
I...asked him to swap rooms with me, so that I could frame him for the murder of another student there. Another one who... [...] I didn't like him very much because he kept trying to flirt with me the entire time we were there, and I thought he'd be an easy target because he was so enamored with me. With being a rockstar, because he thought music was just so easy.
[...There's an uncharacteristic sharpness in Sayaka's tone when she says that; she definitely disdained him.]
...Argenti. You remember when I arrived here, right?
[ ...Ah. Argenti does see where this is heading, he thinks.
He had actually even asked. But, he will patiently wait for Sayaka to outline it all first. He's done it so far, and this won't be any different, as far as he's concerned.
Even when she touches upon the fact that she intended to frame this good-hearted (?) boy named Naegi for a murder that she was possibly planning on committing. He can understand why she wouldn't exactly like this other boy, though it doesn't mean murder would be justified.
Still, he pauses for a moment when she does ask her question; he remembers, approaching her concerned, and doing his best to help her the best that he can. ]
Yes, I certainly do. You were...
[ He trails off. Well, the state of her disarray was quite obvious. So, he'll fall silent, to hear her conclude the rest. ]
Bloody. Had a knife on my shirt that alerted me that that was...all real. Every bit of it was.
[There's no joy in Sayaka's tone. Absolutely no enjoyment to be taken in this, or anything else. But a likely very cold reality of what happened.
She takes another breath to steady herself.]
...Kuwata-kun, the boy that I'd intended to kill...he managed to kill me instead. When he arrived, he was too fast for me to try and distract him, and he managed to take a weapon and knock the knife that I was going to try and kill him with out of my hand. I...
I ran into the bathroom, panicking afterward. I thought I'd failed my friends, that I failed everyone that I was trying to help with this--because I was acting so selfish, and the thought of losing everything and going back to the lonely existence I had before signing on made me become fully selfish, and I couldn't return to it. I couldn't, because anything would be better than that. Everything just ran at my mind a mile a minute, and...
Kuwata-kun, he...the door to the bathroom jammed up, and he took a toolkit and dismantled the door to get inside. I don't know why. He must have been trying to check on me or something, but I...
...I attacked him again, and in the ensuing struggle...well...
[Sayaka's hand is shaky, but she points to the area on her stomach where she was stabbed. Certainly fatal, without any sort of intervention.
...But there's something else. She doesn't say it yet, though, just kind of bracing herself. If Argenti is going to bring judgement, then so be it.]
[ In all honesty, listening to this story, Argenti just knows some of his distant comrades would have disapproved. Some are even stringent than he is when it comes to the code of chivalry, and judgment of others. Even if he isn't necessarily close to them, knowing other people's stances on such things - on the topic of Beauty - within the Knights of Beauty itself is information he's kept close.
In fact, she need not even voice the next part of what happened when she points to a part of her next - the indication of where the fatal blow had been struck.
Still, if Sayaka is awaiting judgment...
...She will find herself not wrong that Argenti will pass it, especially when his expression turns to something more steady. Far more strict; potentially even unforgiving. ]
...I understand.
You must have known that in telling myself this that I would never have approved of such actions. Whatever your reasons, you attempted to kill an innocent, and planned to have another innocent person take the blame for your crime.
Worse still is that you did not give up in your plot even in the end. You dared and desired to carry it out, so that you could come out on top.
These acts are deplorable and worth judgment.
[ He doesn't mince words. Argenti doesn't softball these words. Even with her circumstances in mind, he cannot condone the actions that she has taken.
...That being so, his eyes are actually not full of condemnation as he casts his gaze upon her. ]
And so, I have passed judgment on you...or rather, the "you" of the past.
Now, I look at you as the Sayaka Maizono of the present. Your actions in the past shall follow you, be a reminder of where you had been before. But, as you have told me, you will not let it define you.
I may not find what you did right, and all the same, I believe in the Sayaka I have seen up until now. You were at your worst point. Yet, I know you are capable of much more than that, for I have seen you at your best as well.
Whatever else you wish to say, I shall continue to hear it, and listen well. Because no matter what, I will consider you still to be a dear friend of mine, and nothing you say here has changed that in the slightest.
[ And that, Argenti indicates with his own words, is something that will not change. He indicates that though he doesn't approve of her acts, he still has faith in her. That her desire to move on from that are true. An unconditional form of support that is neither so gentle, but nothing so unforgiving, either. ]
[Sayaka is quiet, but her back is rigid and she doesn't flinch for a second from all of this; if anything, she expects that Argenti's judgement won't be kind, but that he'll carry it out duly. If it means losing him for good this time, then so be it. She doesn't want to lie anymore. She doesn't want Argenti to see the perfect face she's tried to keep this entire time.
She wants him to see her, for better or for worse. Perhaps even see why she said all of the insipid things that she did; because she really has been trying to be better than those actions. Because she wants to be, for Fray, for Argenti, for all of the people she cares for here.
And if it's not enough...
...Then she'll accept that judgement too. No matter what form it takes.]
Of course I knew. That's why I'm telling you this, because...you deserve the truth. I don't want you to see me as this...innocent girl, or whatever it is you saw of me before. I've been living that lie my whole life, and I'm tired of it.
For better or for worse...I want you to see me. Even the ugliest parts.
So please judge me duly.
[Sayaka says her piece, at least, and Argenti doesn't pull punches. Sayaka appreciates it because she knows her actions are abhorrent. She knows that she became terrible in that moment, and selfish, oh so selfish. But when Sayaka opens her eyes finally to look at him, determined to face whatever that judgement is, she...
[She's not sure if this is worse than the thought of Argenti severing contact, but the way he speaks with such...there's determination there, judgement yes, but it startles Sayaka that Argenti would believe in her so much now. She's had plenty of time to ruminate on all of this, and Sayaka wants to be a better person, but to hear Argenti's belief in her so purely and kindly. He judges her past actions, but he also believes in the best of her, and that's...
Whatever else you wish to say, I shall continue to hear it, and listen well. Because no matter what, I will consider you still to be a dear friend of mine, and nothing you say here has changed that in the slightest.
...
(roll will: 17)
It's a herculean feat not to start to tear up when she hears him say that, but the relief that floods her does see her eyes misty despite it all, despite the slack jawed shock, the wide eyes, all of it--it's genuinely overwhelming for a moment.
[It comes out deeply sincere, and deeply thankful. Rather choked up as well, admittedly, and it's a struggle for Sayaka to try and board up those emotions and put them at least in a more acceptable place so she doesn't just break down crying on Argenti.
He believes in her. He believes in the her that he sees now, and it's the most beautiful thing in the world.]
...I don't ever want to become that person again. I've spent so long trying to...understand the world here, to try and understand you all, and try to not ever go down that path again. It's been hard. It's...it's all I've really ever known, and I spent such a long time thinking I didn't deserve to be here. I didn't even know where to start on trying to be...not all of that. And you...
[Sayaka is rapidly losing this battle of not crying.]
You've always been so kind. You've held onto a lot of pain in your own right, and I didn't think it was fair. To...be able to enjoy that kindness and friendship, without at least letting you know of what I've done.
...Thank you for being my friend, even after all of this...
[...Give her a bit to try and compose herself, she's rapidly losing this battle--]
[ ...Ah. He hadn't been certain of the result, but...
This is something he had not expected beyond his wildest imagination - maybe it should have been obvious. That it all could have lead to this result. Her reaction being so receptive.
But these words, the emotional behind her voice...this is all indicative of more than just simple relief.
Argenti can tell, with that expression of gratitude, with the way that she looks at him - that this a complete expression of joy, and other complex feelings.
Argenti grants her a little smile in her direction. ]
I could never fail to be kind to you, my dear friend. You speak such words, that make me happy. I am also glad you took the risk in telling me all of this, no matter how you felt. I understand it could not be easy.
All the same, you must understand that your thoughtful words reach my heart in turn. Your praise, your acts of kindness and consideration...I will remember them, always.
And, I have been grateful most of all, for having the chance to meet you. Every bit of consideration I feel is something that you deserve.
[ Then, he will hold out his arms to Sayaka. Giving her the option to come to him for an embrace. He has a feeling she'll need one - and if she doesn't necessarily need it, that maybe she'll want it too.
...It'll also give her a chance to hide her face when the water works inevitably (?) come. ]
[How funny it is, that he opens his arms so readily in response to all of this. Sayaka just straight up loses the battle of keeping her emotions under control, and while she thankfully doesn't tackle him like she'd done with Fray in the past...
Well, she winds up going into his arms easily, hugging him tightly and finally just. Allowing herself to cry. In relief, out of the kindness he was still willing to show her after he'd heard everything. He still chose to believe. He still chooses to believe in her, and that unflinching kindness and support...it touches her heart in ways she never thought she'd deserve.
But she doesn't get to decide how other people judge her. They get to do that. And it means the world that people still care for her after that.]
Thank you. T-Thank you, thank you Argenti, I--
[...]
...I'm not used to this. I'm sorry. I've only ever known the idea that failure to hide who you are would lead to people hating you, and that you couldn't ever let them see you. Because if you did, they could use it against you. Everyone would hate you. And...you'd just end up alone at the end of it all, whether you tried to be better or not.
Thank you. Your...your kind words have reached me too.
[ Argenti thinks he can very much handle some nice hug tackles, but this is fine as well - instead he gets to hold Sayaka in his arms with remarkable ease. Shifting slightly so he continue to cradle her as she cries into him.
His expression is soft, understanding. He is certain that she was about to unleash tears, so this feels expected. And sometimes, it can be cathartic, to release such emotions.
But, her words - the ones she speak afterwards - continue to warm and soothe his heart so. ]
...For this, there is no need to apologize. You had never had many people that you can even trust in your life - instead, there were many you could never even dream of leaning against for any support. This, I understand well.
That is why I am so glad that I can provide you that. This unending support - and proof that you would not be alone.
And as for your expression of gratitude, consider it something that I shall always be willing to give to you.
[ Nothing less than that for sure. This belief in her will persist as long as Argenti will have it be. ]
It feels...strange, to have such a kind understanding from him--but she welcomes the warmth, craving it and the understanding that Argenti is seeing every bit of her. No more illusions of a perfect, beautiful girl; Sayaka can just be, without the anxiety of perfection.]
...I appreciate it, Argenti. I...don't know what the path forward is going to look like from here, but--
I want to do better. I want to...if I can't make up for what I did, I want to ensure that it doesn't happen again. I want to help people, even if I don't know how. I...
[Sayaka hesitates, wiping her eyes a bit, but her tone is determined.]
...I don't know what I want, but having you all by my side...it makes me feel like I can do anything I set my mind too.
[ Argenti himself recognizes that feeling - that sentiment which rings similarly in his own heart. The way ahead is unknown; unfamiliar, and at times, a bit filled with nothing less than acute trepidation - but at the same time, knowing that others are there on that path, will support you as you are...
It makes all the difference. Argenti truly could only ever continue to understand - can only ever want to make it clear. ]
...I am truly happy that I can give you that much inspiration - the motivation and drive to keep moving forward. Even if you are uncertain of what it looks like ahead; I know myself what that had looked like for myself as well.
[ Perhaps that is another reason why he understands that much. ]
At any point whenever it becomes difficult, it shall also serve as a reminder that I will still continue to be here for you.
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linknet2024-07-25 09:10 pm
no subject
It's strange, somehow, that there's a part of her that thinks he'll understand too. He also lived in quite the horrible life himself, after all. And isn't assuming the worst of people the entire reason that she got preyed upon by her managers?
Sayaka rubs her eyes a bit, chuckling a touch--his words really are the nicest thing that she's ever heard.]
...I'm trying very hard to, yes. I can't make up for what I've done, but at the very least, I...I can try to make sure it doesn't happen again. Because I don't want to be that person again. I spent so long chasing a dream to become someone who could make people smile, to lift people out of their loneliness just like idols did for me when my dad wouldn't come home at night.
I don't...want to get consumed by that level of want or need again. Or to hurt anyone, in the process of it. I want to do better, even if I don't exactly know the way how to. I want to take responsibility because I don't want people to keep seeing me as flawless. I want people to see me as I am, and if they don't like me after...I can live with it.
[...]
T-Thank you. For...believing in me so much, Argenti.
no subject
That is far worse.
Though he hasn't heard everything just yet, he can offer a fair judgment, without it sounding far too lenient, but also while it being gently understanding all the same. That it helps Sayaka at all, causes those tears to form, with her laughing a bit even makes him smile softly despite it all. ]
...I think it is also truly admirable that you are trying your best to better yourself.
[ This new Sayaka has decided to truly embrace a new chapter of her life. Even though the consequences of that pain will weigh on her soul for a time, she has spread her wings, and risen from the fallen ashes to reclaim herself.
And that, to him, is amazing in of itself. ]
Yes, I can say for certain that I detect the sincerity in those words, and your heart - that you wish to bring the light of Beauty to people's lives in your own way, as well as be seen as a person that is unequivocally you. That is why I can say that it is no trouble - I shall always have faith and belief in you. You believed in me too, remember? When I felt that there was no way forward for me, when I felt I failed you all, and everything that I was. I know your words are not just substance; I am living proof of it.
And I know how it feels, to want to see people as who I really am. No matter how difficult of a road is ahead of you, my dear friend, I know you shall accomplish all that you dream of.
[ So, of course, she has seen him at his worse, yet accepted him. Argenti doesn't think he could ever fear what darkness she has yet to show him in turn. ]
no subject
Loving. Caring in a way that Sayaka has never experienced before. Argenti has always provided that in his own way, in protecting her and wanting to keep her safe, but to feel it so readily now of all times...
...She really is a lucky girl.]
...I think that's why I became so insistent on saving you, when we were in your palace. Because I knew the weight of making mistakes like that; I knew how it could destroy someone from the inside out, if left to fester. And...nobody deserves that, you know? Especially someone who has always been so willing to see the good in people and fight for it. That's Beauty in it's own right, I think.
[When Sayaka smiles, there's a brightness in it that shines almost like a mirror of him; a mirror of that light, that beautiful, radiant sun that Sayaka admired for so long out of Argenti himself.]
I've really learned that...there's better in life. Better than I could have ever imagined, that I really could only get by severing away from my home and everything there that was chaining me down. I won't forget those things, but...I want to let them serve as my way to help guide others, so they never fall down that path themselves.
...You're very kind to me, Argenti, and I appreciate it. It's...more kindness than I've really ever experienced.
[It'll make the next part easier to explain, at least.]
no subject
That's honestly touching. Argenti has wondered why people did come, for some in the literal sense, and for some others it was more distantly - as he feels that they were definitely close enough to arrive for reasons pertaining to their possible attachment to him. Even if he wouldn't exactly consider himself worthy at the time (of which he has more or less mostly pushed aside such feelings by now, and having had time to properly recover.)
But, the fact that he knows that Sayaka's own at all now is nice, even if he doesn't necessarily think no one needed to tell him their reasons at all if they wished not to. The fact that she says there's Beauty in the way he is too? It gets him to smile, warmly. ]
...Your words touch my heart profoundly, Sayaka.
I am not certain if I can state how much so, but I appreciate them nonetheless.
[ After all, Argenti knows...there is a part of him that thought he deserved to let such emotions inside him overwhelm him, because he thought so many things. That he failed so much recently, that his fears could never be overcome as the result of his Path was inevitable due to his failures, that the despair growing in his heart would eclipse him. And finally, that he should have overcame it all alone. But... ]
Still, I am most happy you have found your own way, your desire to grasp your own happiness within your own hands.
And still also shine brightly as your own self, while now reaching out to help others. I only continue to hope you witness more moments of Beauty in your life, to continue along that path.
...Of course, as always, I am glad to shower you such deserved kindness. I am saddened you have yet to have had the opportunity until now, but I am glad to have you experience it now.
[ He is curious as to hear more on that, but Argenti knows he will be listening to it soon enough. ]
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It makes her feel happy.]
Don't mention it. I'm only giving back in kind what was given to me, you know?
[The praise makes Sayaka beam a bit, but...she can't get sidetracked. Her expression and resolve tighten again, and she'll begin the second part. The one that she worried about only slightly less, but was still very pivotal.]
...What I'm going to tell you next might...be concerning or a little unbelievable, but I can unfortunately promise you that everything I'm talking about is real. I've...got enough scars and bruises to prove it. But...
I did eventually get a scholarship, to a school known as Hope's Peak Academy. It was an academy that boasted only accepting the best of the best, and everyone who's ever went there has managed to make something incredible out of themselves. The fact that I received one...I took it as the opportunity I sorely needed to get out from under my manager's thumb and do something for myself.
...It turned out to be some kind of trap, though, given that me and fifteen others woke up after passing out in the entry way in different classrooms. We all met up there, confused about everything, before we were called into the gymnasium to greet the so-called headmaster. A robotic bear known as Monokuma.
[Beat.]
I can promise you, it's just as unbelievable as it sounds. The bear basically told us that we were going to be staying here for the rest of our lives, and that the only way out was to "graduate". Which...meant killing another student, to go back into the outside world.
None of us took the initial news well, to say the least. Least so after finding out that Monokuma wasn't nearly as harmless as he looked, after he nearly hurt one of my classmates when he exploded.
[This is...good, so far. Sayaka does start to fidget and worry at her sleeve a bit, though, leaving that in the air.]
It was...frightening, to put it simply.
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A sinister trap under the guise of an academic institution...he believes that this is the first he's heard of such a diabolical plot. ]
...How utterly wretched.
[ Argenti means every single word that he says here. How could he not? This kind of despicable behavior can't really be described as anything else except anything that appropriately termed it so. ]
I do not blame you for thinking it may sound so fantastical, but it is believable to me - unfortunate as it is.
I am just sorry you had to experience a situation with such a depraved individual.
This Monokuma...did you know who was behind the bear at all? Or rather, anyone who was aligned with him? And I assume, of course, others did not wish to follow his "alternative" in escaping?
[ Though, Argenti realizes that the opposite could be true... ]
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...She's only a little surprised, but she's still so grateful and her tightened posture seems to slacken a bit in relief. It means so much to her to be believed, and Sayaka does her best to keep her composure. She's at least doing better than the time she straight up cried at the relief it brought her, but she does need to take a second to compose herself a bit.]
Unfortunately, I don't. I. Never wound up learning who was behind it, and I don't know about the other students...it's...
[Let's get a move on here.]
We didn't want to cooperate at all, at first, with what the bear wanted. We got a blessed few days to ourselves to explore the school and try to learn more about it, but it became clearer and clearer that we were going to be stuck there. We all made rules and such to minimize the chance of anyone getting the drop on someone, but...
A few days after, Monokuma, he...he introduced what he had hoped to be motivation for us to kill. It was these DVDs, that--they had a video of my group on the stage and knocked out due to Monokuma's influence. I never asked about the others, because...I...
[Her arms close in on herself, starting to shudder something fierce.]
...I started to try and make a plan to get out of there. To...kill someone, and frame it on someone else that I knew there. Who...trusted me.
[This next one's going to be rough. Give her a second, Argenti.]
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The situation must have been quite harrowing enough, after all. Though, it certainly is something he wished could have been resolved with a finality.
But, what's even more hard to swallow is Sayaka's direct confession - of her desire to want to kill someone, even at the urging of that wretched creature. It isn't exactly something he expected, all things considered. ]
...You mean to say you already knew someone had trusted in you.
[ So, her words imply she had a target in mind. Though, looking at her holding herself like that, Argenti waits a moment instead of immediately asking. Then, after that...
...There's only one other question for now, that he thinks to ask: ]
Did you try going through with it?
[ That's another important part of it all, right? One can say that they planned something, but it is another matter entirely in pursuing it. ]
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[...]
He...very clearly idolized me. I don't blame him for it, but he was very fond of me and wanted to keep me safe. And my brain went into that same mode that it went into for ruining lives, when he made his devotion clear to me.
[Sayaka takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.]
I...asked him to swap rooms with me, so that I could frame him for the murder of another student there. Another one who... [...] I didn't like him very much because he kept trying to flirt with me the entire time we were there, and I thought he'd be an easy target because he was so enamored with me. With being a rockstar, because he thought music was just so easy.
[...There's an uncharacteristic sharpness in Sayaka's tone when she says that; she definitely disdained him.]
...Argenti. You remember when I arrived here, right?
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He had actually even asked. But, he will patiently wait for Sayaka to outline it all first. He's done it so far, and this won't be any different, as far as he's concerned.
Even when she touches upon the fact that she intended to frame this good-hearted (?) boy named Naegi for a murder that she was possibly planning on committing. He can understand why she wouldn't exactly like this other boy, though it doesn't mean murder would be justified.
Still, he pauses for a moment when she does ask her question; he remembers, approaching her concerned, and doing his best to help her the best that he can. ]
Yes, I certainly do. You were...
[ He trails off. Well, the state of her disarray was quite obvious. So, he'll fall silent, to hear her conclude the rest. ]
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[There's no joy in Sayaka's tone. Absolutely no enjoyment to be taken in this, or anything else. But a likely very cold reality of what happened.
She takes another breath to steady herself.]
...Kuwata-kun, the boy that I'd intended to kill...he managed to kill me instead. When he arrived, he was too fast for me to try and distract him, and he managed to take a weapon and knock the knife that I was going to try and kill him with out of my hand. I...
I ran into the bathroom, panicking afterward. I thought I'd failed my friends, that I failed everyone that I was trying to help with this--because I was acting so selfish, and the thought of losing everything and going back to the lonely existence I had before signing on made me become fully selfish, and I couldn't return to it. I couldn't, because anything would be better than that. Everything just ran at my mind a mile a minute, and...
Kuwata-kun, he...the door to the bathroom jammed up, and he took a toolkit and dismantled the door to get inside. I don't know why. He must have been trying to check on me or something, but I...
...I attacked him again, and in the ensuing struggle...well...
[Sayaka's hand is shaky, but she points to the area on her stomach where she was stabbed. Certainly fatal, without any sort of intervention.
...But there's something else. She doesn't say it yet, though, just kind of bracing herself. If Argenti is going to bring judgement, then so be it.]
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In fact, she need not even voice the next part of what happened when she points to a part of her next - the indication of where the fatal blow had been struck.
Still, if Sayaka is awaiting judgment...
...She will find herself not wrong that Argenti will pass it, especially when his expression turns to something more steady. Far more strict; potentially even unforgiving. ]
...I understand.
You must have known that in telling myself this that I would never have approved of such actions. Whatever your reasons, you attempted to kill an innocent, and planned to have another innocent person take the blame for your crime.
Worse still is that you did not give up in your plot even in the end. You dared and desired to carry it out, so that you could come out on top.
These acts are deplorable and worth judgment.
[ He doesn't mince words. Argenti doesn't softball these words. Even with her circumstances in mind, he cannot condone the actions that she has taken.
...That being so, his eyes are actually not full of condemnation as he casts his gaze upon her. ]
And so, I have passed judgment on you...or rather, the "you" of the past.
Now, I look at you as the Sayaka Maizono of the present. Your actions in the past shall follow you, be a reminder of where you had been before. But, as you have told me, you will not let it define you.
I may not find what you did right, and all the same, I believe in the Sayaka I have seen up until now. You were at your worst point. Yet, I know you are capable of much more than that, for I have seen you at your best as well.
Whatever else you wish to say, I shall continue to hear it, and listen well. Because no matter what, I will consider you still to be a dear friend of mine, and nothing you say here has changed that in the slightest.
[ And that, Argenti indicates with his own words, is something that will not change. He indicates that though he doesn't approve of her acts, he still has faith in her. That her desire to move on from that are true. An unconditional form of support that is neither so gentle, but nothing so unforgiving, either. ]
1/?
She wants him to see her, for better or for worse. Perhaps even see why she said all of the insipid things that she did; because she really has been trying to be better than those actions. Because she wants to be, for Fray, for Argenti, for all of the people she cares for here.
And if it's not enough...
...Then she'll accept that judgement too. No matter what form it takes.]
2/?
For better or for worse...I want you to see me. Even the ugliest parts.
So please judge me duly.
[Sayaka says her piece, at least, and Argenti doesn't pull punches. Sayaka appreciates it because she knows her actions are abhorrent. She knows that she became terrible in that moment, and selfish, oh so selfish. But when Sayaka opens her eyes finally to look at him, determined to face whatever that judgement is, she...
...She isn't expecting the lack of condemnation.]
3/4?
Whatever else you wish to say, I shall continue to hear it, and listen well. Because no matter what, I will consider you still to be a dear friend of mine, and nothing you say here has changed that in the slightest.
...
(roll will: 17)
It's a herculean feat not to start to tear up when she hears him say that, but the relief that floods her does see her eyes misty despite it all, despite the slack jawed shock, the wide eyes, all of it--it's genuinely overwhelming for a moment.
But she doesn't look away.]
4/4
[It comes out deeply sincere, and deeply thankful. Rather choked up as well, admittedly, and it's a struggle for Sayaka to try and board up those emotions and put them at least in a more acceptable place so she doesn't just break down crying on Argenti.
He believes in her. He believes in the her that he sees now, and it's the most beautiful thing in the world.]
...I don't ever want to become that person again. I've spent so long trying to...understand the world here, to try and understand you all, and try to not ever go down that path again. It's been hard. It's...it's all I've really ever known, and I spent such a long time thinking I didn't deserve to be here. I didn't even know where to start on trying to be...not all of that. And you...
[Sayaka is rapidly losing this battle of not crying.]
You've always been so kind. You've held onto a lot of pain in your own right, and I didn't think it was fair. To...be able to enjoy that kindness and friendship, without at least letting you know of what I've done.
...Thank you for being my friend, even after all of this...
[...Give her a bit to try and compose herself, she's rapidly losing this battle--]
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This is something he had not expected beyond his wildest imagination - maybe it should have been obvious. That it all could have lead to this result. Her reaction being so receptive.
But these words, the emotional behind her voice...this is all indicative of more than just simple relief.
Argenti can tell, with that expression of gratitude, with the way that she looks at him - that this a complete expression of joy, and other complex feelings.
Argenti grants her a little smile in her direction. ]
I could never fail to be kind to you, my dear friend. You speak such words, that make me happy. I am also glad you took the risk in telling me all of this, no matter how you felt. I understand it could not be easy.
All the same, you must understand that your thoughtful words reach my heart in turn. Your praise, your acts of kindness and consideration...I will remember them, always.
And, I have been grateful most of all, for having the chance to meet you. Every bit of consideration I feel is something that you deserve.
[ Then, he will hold out his arms to Sayaka. Giving her the option to come to him for an embrace. He has a feeling she'll need one - and if she doesn't necessarily need it, that maybe she'll want it too.
...It'll also give her a chance to hide her face when the water works inevitably (?) come. ]
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Well, she winds up going into his arms easily, hugging him tightly and finally just. Allowing herself to cry. In relief, out of the kindness he was still willing to show her after he'd heard everything. He still chose to believe. He still chooses to believe in her, and that unflinching kindness and support...it touches her heart in ways she never thought she'd deserve.
But she doesn't get to decide how other people judge her. They get to do that. And it means the world that people still care for her after that.]
Thank you. T-Thank you, thank you Argenti, I--
[...]
...I'm not used to this. I'm sorry. I've only ever known the idea that failure to hide who you are would lead to people hating you, and that you couldn't ever let them see you. Because if you did, they could use it against you. Everyone would hate you. And...you'd just end up alone at the end of it all, whether you tried to be better or not.
Thank you. Your...your kind words have reached me too.
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His expression is soft, understanding. He is certain that she was about to unleash tears, so this feels expected. And sometimes, it can be cathartic, to release such emotions.
But, her words - the ones she speak afterwards - continue to warm and soothe his heart so. ]
...For this, there is no need to apologize. You had never had many people that you can even trust in your life - instead, there were many you could never even dream of leaning against for any support. This, I understand well.
That is why I am so glad that I can provide you that. This unending support - and proof that you would not be alone.
And as for your expression of gratitude, consider it something that I shall always be willing to give to you.
[ Nothing less than that for sure. This belief in her will persist as long as Argenti will have it be. ]
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It feels...strange, to have such a kind understanding from him--but she welcomes the warmth, craving it and the understanding that Argenti is seeing every bit of her. No more illusions of a perfect, beautiful girl; Sayaka can just be, without the anxiety of perfection.]
...I appreciate it, Argenti. I...don't know what the path forward is going to look like from here, but--
I want to do better. I want to...if I can't make up for what I did, I want to ensure that it doesn't happen again. I want to help people, even if I don't know how. I...
[Sayaka hesitates, wiping her eyes a bit, but her tone is determined.]
...I don't know what I want, but having you all by my side...it makes me feel like I can do anything I set my mind too.
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It makes all the difference. Argenti truly could only ever continue to understand - can only ever want to make it clear. ]
...I am truly happy that I can give you that much inspiration - the motivation and drive to keep moving forward. Even if you are uncertain of what it looks like ahead; I know myself what that had looked like for myself as well.
[ Perhaps that is another reason why he understands that much. ]
At any point whenever it becomes difficult, it shall also serve as a reminder that I will still continue to be here for you.