[Honestly? The deadpan delivery makes it better, at least for Haruka. Being told at all is better than not knowing, or being cagey about. He's seen what happens when people try to hide their illnesses. He's seen how bitter and hurt Minami was over Haruki keeping his illness a secret for him, and how that bitterness and contempt buried any fondness Minami had for his teacher.
He still remembers the fight ŹOOĻ had over going to Northmeir so Minami could see Haruki, too. How much more miserable would he be if he hadn't had that time with him before Haruki passed away?]
Does it hurt?
[Asking what he could do to help is pointless—he's not that delusional to think he could do anything to help. It's a real illness, not some annoying status ailment in the Nekyia.
Still, he worries, even if Shalem might not appreciate it. If he's in pain, he can't do anything to help, but. Well. Too late to take back the question.]
When they first emerged, there was, indeed, pain. [And sometimes, there's pain even when he moves himself a certain way, but he managed in Atem's palace with the way he kept moving around, and he'll continue to manage until he returns to Rhodes Island.]
But nothing unmanageable.
[His gentle expression turns a little bit wry before smoothing itself out.]
[Huffs! He might be pouting as well, but he rolls his eyes.]
Of course you'd say something like that.
[Brushing things off with "experienced worse"! Everyone always does that!]
...Is there anything else I should know?
[He. Really does not want to talk about the murder stuff because he likes Shalem... But if they must...
It's not like he's even the first person Haruka's met who would willingly kill someone, either, but it's still different since Ryou hired grunts to try that.]
[Shalem makes another hmm, falling silent as he studies Haruka, his body language, and thinks back to their previous interactions (14). How Haruka acted back then. Where his eyes strayed, the words he used.
Hmm. He thinks he has a hunch, but...? The only proper way to test that hunch is to say something.]
I wonder... is an attraction considered bad intent?
[His face goes scarlet, and he covers his cheeks as if that's actually going to help cover up the fact he's blushing. He wants to crawl into a hole and never come out.
It's bad enough that he has to admit that, yeah, okay, he thinks Shalem is pretty attractive, and the delight he had in bloodshed didn't make him any less hot. But adding the fact that it was obvious enough to get called out for it? He's done. He's dead. We're so over.]
[But then Haruka gets a hold of himself and cuts the crisis off, though the redness in his cheeks doesn't fade.
He takes a breath to calm himself, though he's having a hard time making eye contact, staring at a spot on the wall instead of Shalem. He's still pretty embarrassed for being called out... But it's fine, it's fine, it's not that big of a deal.]
That... would depend on if you have a problem with it, wouldn't it? Because it's not like I would ever do anything about it.
[Unless Shalem wanted him to...? Realistically, would he be that lucky? Probably not, but that's okay.]
[Ha. Seems like he was right. He's rarely wrong when it comes to people, even if he had to make a big leap in logic and then a bigger leap of faith that his idea was right. He's getting rusty, and he really should fix that.]
I prefer men myself, you don't need judgement from there. [But he's going to tease a bit.] Though I'm sure most would judge you for your choice.
[Especially after that display in Atem's palace! Shalem himself is embarrassed, he was acting like a boy who'd just discovered a vice. He was taught to have more dignity than that, thank you!]
[Okay maybe it is fair to question his taste, but whatever. Somehow that wasn't a turnoff because Haruka is stupid and keeps thinking about how Shalem ended up like this and how he's pleasant company and the only person so far Haruka feels is on his level as a performer even though their performances are very different and—
He needs to stop. He's annoyed at himself and how cringy he is. Just because someone hasn't taken advantage of him means he has to be so pathetic!! Just because it's rare doesn't mean it's anything special.]
And you're one of those people judging my choice? I don't care about what anyone else would think.
However, I would have judged you more if I were the type who prefers long-term relationships over purely physical ones. [Can Haruka even parse what he's trying to say? He's too much of a virgin, surely.
But of course Shalem isn't actually proposing something. He's just insinuating that he's a hoe, not a homemaker.]
No, just that my only experience with weapons is with props that are much lighter.
[He looks over at the staff, and the gears in his head are turning. Fuck it, why not embarrass himself more at this point and do what he does best, contradict himself and make things worse for him.]
[Hmm. Of course Shalem picks up on what he's putting down, because he's not at all subtle about it.
If Haruka is going to be like that--
Shalem looms over Haruka, an impassive look on his face-- not the usual one, the soft, contemplative, almost sleepy gaze he has on any given day, but instead sharp-eyed and focused. He's just not conveying any expression right now. Then he leans over, and his tail inserts his quarterstaff between Haruka's legs. Leaves it there, resting against a thigh, a long stick of solid, hard wood.]
Will you really? [His voice is deep, soft, almost raspy. One that can only be described as a bedroom voice.]
[Somehow, Haruka doesn't immediately burst into flustered yelping or floundering as Shalem looms over him. Maybe because he's already decided that if he's just going to throw caution to the wind and to be less concerned with being an idol in a place that doesn't know who he is.
(Everything he's done here already would tank his reputation, so what's pushing the envelope even further? Even if he knows he still struggles with being too soft-hearted, he's convinced himself he'll be fine with whatever happens next. Maybe a one-night stand might actually not be so bad, when this might be his only chance to have one before he has to worry about the paparazzi again.)]
I'd certainly like to give handling it a try.
[He puts a hand on the staff as if he's planning on taking it from him, fingers resting just above where Shalem's tail is looped around it, but then he's brushing his fingers over dark scales, curious about how the feel. Hhe e keeps his eyes on Shalem's though, chin tilting upwards even though that doesn't do anything at all to make it feel less overwhelming. Shalem's already much bigger than he is, and he's incredibly imposing like this—but that's half the appeal, isn't it?
(He might be less cocky right now if he knew that snakes have two dicks, but that's knowledge he doesn't have, in case you were wondering about that 2 I rolled earlier.)]
[Shalem's perception is still on point right now. He can tell Haruka is no longer talking about the weapons, though that was of course obvious.
The end of his tail curls around Haruka's fingers so he can hold it all he likes, brush over all of those smooth, slightly cool scales, like handling luxury, premium-quality leather, while Shalem takes the staff and katana off of his bed to stash them somewhere else. And then he places his hands on Haruka's shoulders, pushing down slightly. That's one last chance for him to show resistance-- to say no, stop, and then leave. Because, otherwise, Shalem will act on those signals he's been sending.
He's neither blind nor a rock statue of a serpent. Plus, it's been a while, and he's only just gotten free of the troubles plaguing him for years and years. Why should he not give himself something?]
[His tail is nicer to touch than he imagined—not that it's something he thought about much at all? Just an idle curiosity, since it's not like he's met many people with animal features before... But any thoughts of smooth scales leave his mind as he gets pushed backwards. He doesn't put up any protests, though the blush returns to his cheeks.]
You're really handsome up close.
[He's not sure where to place his hands, but—Shalem should already know, right? It's probably painfully obvious, but he should say something just for posterity's sake.]
I haven't done this before, so... just tell me what to do.
[He's very good at following directions! And he's desperate to please! So he'll try not to fumble too badly through this. (At least he knows there's more than two sex positions, unlike some other loser virgins in this game.]
I know. [That he's handsome? That Haruka doesn't know what to do? Or both? (It's usually better to assume both.)]
If you're not sure what to do, you can always hold onto me.
[And he really does mean that, because he doesn't mind being held onto. And Haruka may just need it because Shalem is already leaning down to lick him on the lips once, to get both of theirs damp, before kissing him.]
[Wow, okay!! Haruka rolls his eyes at that, but! He doesn't pout, this time.]
Alright... Sounds like a plan.
[Kissing is at least somewhat familiar territory—Shalem doesn't get to take all of his firsts, though his last kisses were years ago, when he was still living in America. Chaste and fumbling with one of his castmates, as you do, and he was so worried that someone else would find out.
He's not really worried about anyone finding out about this, though, so he can relax and enjoy himself. He kisses back eagerly, moving his hands up to rest around Shalem's shoulders instead of awkwardly laying against the bed, and his eyes slide closed. (He remembers being weirded out by all the staring the last guy he kissed did...)
Shyly, he parts his lips, silently asking for more.]
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cw: discussion of terminal illness & death (in the metatext)
He still remembers the fight ŹOOĻ had over going to Northmeir so Minami could see Haruki, too. How much more miserable would he be if he hadn't had that time with him before Haruki passed away?]
Does it hurt?
[Asking what he could do to help is pointless—he's not that delusional to think he could do anything to help. It's a real illness, not some annoying status ailment in the Nekyia.
Still, he worries, even if Shalem might not appreciate it. If he's in pain, he can't do anything to help, but. Well. Too late to take back the question.]
It looks like it would.
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But nothing unmanageable.
[His gentle expression turns a little bit wry before smoothing itself out.]
I've experienced worse in my lifetime.
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Of course you'd say something like that.
[Brushing things off with "experienced worse"! Everyone always does that!]
...Is there anything else I should know?
[He. Really does not want to talk about the murder stuff because he likes Shalem... But if they must...
It's not like he's even the first person Haruka's met who would willingly kill someone, either, but it's still different since Ryou hired grunts to try that.]
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That all depends on you. [He rests his arm on his knee, and his chin on his open palm.]
It's not as if I know instinctively what your questions are.
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[honking his clown nose]
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Or... is this an attempt at preserving yourself, to get on my good side?
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[Rude! As if Haruka has anything to gain from this besides his safety, which isn't all that important in the scheme of things.]
I'm not trying to get close to save my own skin.
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Hmm. He thinks he has a hunch, but...? The only proper way to test that hunch is to say something.]
I wonder... is an attraction considered bad intent?
1/???
[Haruka blinks at him, genuine confusion crossing his face. What is Shalem... talking about...
Ah.
Ah?
AAAAAAAAAA—
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It's bad enough that he has to admit that, yeah, okay, he thinks Shalem is pretty attractive, and the delight he had in bloodshed didn't make him any less hot. But adding the fact that it was obvious enough to get called out for it? He's done. He's dead. We're so over.]
fin,,,,
He takes a breath to calm himself, though he's having a hard time making eye contact, staring at a spot on the wall instead of Shalem. He's still pretty embarrassed for being called out... But it's fine, it's fine, it's not that big of a deal.]
That... would depend on if you have a problem with it, wouldn't it? Because it's not like I would ever do anything about it.
[Unless Shalem wanted him to...? Realistically, would he be that lucky? Probably not, but that's okay.]
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I prefer men myself, you don't need judgement from there. [But he's going to tease a bit.] Though I'm sure most would judge you for your choice.
[Especially after that display in Atem's palace! Shalem himself is embarrassed, he was acting like a boy who'd just discovered a vice. He was taught to have more dignity than that, thank you!]
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He needs to stop. He's annoyed at himself and how cringy he is. Just because someone hasn't taken advantage of him means he has to be so pathetic!! Just because it's rare doesn't mean it's anything special.]
And you're one of those people judging my choice? I don't care about what anyone else would think.
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However, I would have judged you more if I were the type who prefers long-term relationships over purely physical ones. [Can Haruka even parse what he's trying to say? He's too much of a virgin, surely.
But of course Shalem isn't actually proposing something. He's just insinuating that he's a hoe, not a homemaker.]
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Well, I can't have any relationships, so you don't have to worry about me wanting anything from you.
[lol. lmao.]
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But there's one thing I want. [What a smooth segue! Kind of. He points at the sword.]
I have never see you use that. Why?
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The sword?
[He glances down at it.]
It's just kind of tricky to use, and it's not like I get a lot of chances to attack with everyone getting mindcontrolled and shit all the time.
[also i roll like garbage]
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He stands and his tail snatches his staff, making it dangle in front of Haruka.]
I find that this stifles me. Would you like to trade?
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[He looks over at the staff, and the gears in his head are turning. Fuck it, why not embarrass himself more at this point and do what he does best, contradict himself and make things worse for him.]
Sure, I wouldn't mind having your rod.
[double entendre implied?? wow—]
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If Haruka is going to be like that--
Shalem looms over Haruka, an impassive look on his face-- not the usual one, the soft, contemplative, almost sleepy gaze he has on any given day, but instead sharp-eyed and focused. He's just not conveying any expression right now. Then he leans over, and his tail inserts his quarterstaff between Haruka's legs. Leaves it there, resting against a thigh, a long stick of solid, hard wood.]
Will you really? [His voice is deep, soft, almost raspy. One that can only be described as a bedroom voice.]
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(Everything he's done here already would tank his reputation, so what's pushing the envelope even further? Even if he knows he still struggles with being too soft-hearted, he's convinced himself he'll be fine with whatever happens next. Maybe a one-night stand might actually not be so bad, when this might be his only chance to have one before he has to worry about the paparazzi again.)]
I'd certainly like to give handling it a try.
[He puts a hand on the staff as if he's planning on taking it from him, fingers resting just above where Shalem's tail is looped around it, but then he's brushing his fingers over dark scales, curious about how the feel. Hhe e keeps his eyes on Shalem's though, chin tilting upwards even though that doesn't do anything at all to make it feel less overwhelming. Shalem's already much bigger than he is, and he's incredibly imposing like this—but that's half the appeal, isn't it?
(He might be less cocky right now if he knew that snakes have two dicks, but that's knowledge he doesn't have, in case you were wondering about that 2 I rolled earlier.)]
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The end of his tail curls around Haruka's fingers so he can hold it all he likes, brush over all of those smooth, slightly cool scales, like handling luxury, premium-quality leather, while Shalem takes the staff and katana off of his bed to stash them somewhere else. And then he places his hands on Haruka's shoulders, pushing down slightly. That's one last chance for him to show resistance-- to say no, stop, and then leave. Because, otherwise, Shalem will act on those signals he's been sending.
He's neither blind nor a rock statue of a serpent. Plus, it's been a while, and he's only just gotten free of the troubles plaguing him for years and years. Why should he not give himself something?]
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You're really handsome up close.
[He's not sure where to place his hands, but—Shalem should already know, right? It's probably painfully obvious, but he should say something just for posterity's sake.]
I haven't done this before, so... just tell me what to do.
[He's very good at following directions! And he's desperate to please! So he'll try not to fumble too badly through this. (At least he knows there's more than two sex positions, unlike some other loser virgins in this game.]
NSFW from now on, uwu
If you're not sure what to do, you can always hold onto me.
[And he really does mean that, because he doesn't mind being held onto. And Haruka may just need it because Shalem is already leaning down to lick him on the lips once, to get both of theirs damp, before kissing him.]
owo
Alright... Sounds like a plan.
[Kissing is at least somewhat familiar territory—Shalem doesn't get to take all of his firsts, though his last kisses were years ago, when he was still living in America. Chaste and fumbling with one of his castmates, as you do, and he was so worried that someone else would find out.
He's not really worried about anyone finding out about this, though, so he can relax and enjoy himself. He kisses back eagerly, moving his hands up to rest around Shalem's shoulders instead of awkwardly laying against the bed, and his eyes slide closed. (He remembers being weirded out by all the staring the last guy he kissed did...)
Shyly, he parts his lips, silently asking for more.]
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uses this icon b/c i haven't made more and 95% of his spicy fanart is this face anyways--
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