I wouldn't say I'm being nice--- I broke the rules of the game, so it makes sense I was punished. If anything... I should apologize to you for making you think that was your fault.
[He looks at her right in the eye.]
It was my choice to test the limits of the game master.
You gave him the opportunity? I wasn't aware you were the mastermind behind all of this, Mafuyu! Am I to take this as your confession that you're the God of Conflict?
[He uncrosses his legs and sits straight on the bed to provide her his full attention.]
Regardless of what you said in that moment... I would have voted the same, again and again. I will always choose to speak the truth than lie or the life of another over my own--- especially that of a dear friend or family member. Even if it may mean my death.
I don't doubt a piece of you broke then. A splinter of yourself trapped in time reliving that moment whenever you look at me. It's the same for me, too. If I'm tense, I can feel it. My arms and legs still ache.
[He is too Ancient Egyptian to know the diagnosis of PTSD, but it's what he's describing.]
But you must remember... it was not your fault. You didn't cause it to happen.
( she knows, on some level, that he's not as open to touch. but it hurts, and she's emotional, and maybe she's a little selfish, because she closes the distance to hug him regardless, blinking away tears.
[Ah... yep, this is a hug. She's hugging him. A hug definitely is happening. His eyes are wide open, board stiff and unwieldy in her arms, like a cat caught. Touch remains foreign, the gentle pressure of another person almost painful. But he understands in his head and heart she needs this, so he frees up a hand to rub her upper back in a soothing, circular motion]
I won't lie to you, Mafuyu... These experiences don't make anyone stronger. They weaken us. Bit by bit, they sap our strength even in the most quiet of moments... But they do make us more conscientious.
I promise I won't put myself in that situation again if I can help it.
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[He looks at her right in the eye.]
It was my choice to test the limits of the game master.
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[His tone is light!]
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( ... yeah, no, she's only getting more upset. )
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Regardless of what you said in that moment... I would have voted the same, again and again. I will always choose to speak the truth than lie or the life of another over my own--- especially that of a dear friend or family member. Even if it may mean my death.
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there's a soft break in her voice- )
I still see your husk when I look at you, sometimes. It hurts, Atem.
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[Being honest.]
I don't doubt a piece of you broke then. A splinter of yourself trapped in time reliving that moment whenever you look at me. It's the same for me, too. If I'm tense, I can feel it. My arms and legs still ache.
[He is too Ancient Egyptian to know the diagnosis of PTSD, but it's what he's describing.]
But you must remember... it was not your fault. You didn't cause it to happen.
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( she knows, on some level, that he's not as open to touch. but it hurts, and she's emotional, and maybe she's a little selfish, because she closes the distance to hug him regardless, blinking away tears.
sorry, atem. )
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I won't lie to you, Mafuyu... These experiences don't make anyone stronger. They weaken us. Bit by bit, they sap our strength even in the most quiet of moments... But they do make us more conscientious.
I promise I won't put myself in that situation again if I can help it.