it's been a weird occurrence all week, hasn't it? something as mundane as sleep eluding you, plunging you into the dream bubbles that you have heard or experienced for yourself over the course of the past two weeks.
this dream is different. this dream is not yours, and you are a visitor.
in the dream, joshua is there. he doesn't look quite the same as you know him. he looks older, a quiet observer. the other participants in the dream don't seem to notice that joshua is there, either. you are the only one who can see him.
what you can also hear is the conversation - between two teenaged-looking boys and a man with sunglasses.
"is it done? we survived seven days, we won the Game, we can go home now, right?"
"not quite. what if i told you that we could only send one of you home, instead of you both?"
"the fuck does that mean? wasn't it in the rules that if you won the Game you get to go back, right?!"
"the Composer wills it so."
there is a dead, horrified silence.
"w-wait, you’re really only sending one of us back?"
"it's up to you."
the two boys look at each other. the first one swallows, clenches his fist and says in a rush, "i can't choose. i want it to be me but... it's--that's not fair. we did this together. so i guess i'm, i'm choosing him? i don't-- why are you making me choose?"
there's another silence, the man in sunglasses looking impassively at the second boy. waiting. joshua waits too, looking at all three of them.
"i can't... i can't do it either. i guess it's both of us or neither or something, i don't know. it's not fair. i want to go home but you can't ask me to kill my partner to make it happen, y'know."
joshua sighs. the other participants in the room don't seem to hear him, but you do, loud and clear. ]
A little weak, but it'll do. Send them both back. That is my judgment.
[ the man in the sunglasses then says: "the Composer is satisfied with your answers. so we are sending you both back home. well done."
[What's with everyone barging into his mind and forcing their memories on him? Stop it already! It's getting old, fast. He only has so much patience.]
Why are you showing me this?
[And where are they anyway? The last thing Atem remembers before whatever is happening is laying his head down to rest for the night. They don't seem to be in his dorm room...]
[ it's perfectly calibrated just to annoy atem. but for the most part, joshua is used to people coming in and out of his dreamscape, even if it's intentional like it seems to be with our poor pharaoh.
so joshua shrugs. ]
It's not me. Or well, even if it isn't me, it's probably something the Nekyia is doing. Something about a Dream-King?
[ he skimmed through the commissions, ok. ]
Or, it thought that maybe this was something that you wanted to see?
[ they're in a kind of room, though it's definitely not atem's. it's stone walls and concrete, and there's a throne where joshua is perched on delicately, almost looking down at atem in very thinly veiled curiosity. ]
[Goose flesh pecks along his skin as the hairs on his nape stand on end.
He does not want to be here. Not with someone who apparently decides who lives and dies on a throne staring down at him. Too familiar in a very, very bad way.
But the Dream-King comment catches his attention.]
So you think this is a Shadow's doing.
Edited 2024-09-27 07:12 (UTC)
dn: piss off / un: kaine || towards the beginning of week 11
[When the prospect of stargazing at the temple had come up during the aquarium sleepover, Kainé had made it sound like anything to do with it would have to come from Atem's initiative. Who knows why she decided to stop by and see the grounds despite little interest in playing nice with Braphine and her followers? Whatever brought her there, something about the eerie silence of the place prickles the hairs on the back of her neck.]
[He was resting in the Dorm since he explored those two palaces back to back... So when Kainé mentioned something was weird, he decided to check it out before he got back to her. After exploring a bit he has some ideas, though no real answers.]
It almost feels like the city did when we first arrived.
That shouldn't be possible--- we're actively clearing the God of Conflict's influence from Nekyia.
the city's the same. back to being scapegoats. [Which, at least to her, is nothing strange. Better for them to direct their hostility in her direction when it isn't a change from how her life has always been.]
this is really pissing me off. maybe fucking up some more shadows will do something about it. [That, or she's needless redirecting her feelings into violence again, but no big deal.]
at least in there it feels like we're supposed to be in the shit, instead of it leaking out all over the place.
[With the boundaries between the real and the imaginary blurring every day - and about to blur even more - distinguishing up from down is starting to become a dizzying task.]
guess people are just like this. [It's easy to be angry and suspicious.]
( there's a knock on his door. when he opens it, mafuyu is waiting sheepishly, a familiar puzzle in her hands... but she isn't quite meeting his eyes. )
[He takes the Puzzle into his hand! And closes the door before he walks over and sets it gently on his desk.
Said desk is somehow chaotic and organized, covered in handwritten notes, books with annotations, Mafuyu's aromatherapy bottles, playing cards, a caddy full of make-up, and a supicious amount of Jack Frost gachapon toys. What's another thing on top of that?
His room is otherwise sparse! He spends most time at his desk or sleeping when he's in here. He has a few selfie pics of Joshua and him printed and taped onto the wall closest to his bed, though.]
( is he going to finally scold her or get upset? there's a heavy pit in her stomach starting to form and she hates it. ... she'll take the desk chair and sit. )
I wouldn't say I'm being nice--- I broke the rules of the game, so it makes sense I was punished. If anything... I should apologize to you for making you think that was your fault.
[He looks at her right in the eye.]
It was my choice to test the limits of the game master.
You gave him the opportunity? I wasn't aware you were the mastermind behind all of this, Mafuyu! Am I to take this as your confession that you're the God of Conflict?
[He uncrosses his legs and sits straight on the bed to provide her his full attention.]
Regardless of what you said in that moment... I would have voted the same, again and again. I will always choose to speak the truth than lie or the life of another over my own--- especially that of a dear friend or family member. Even if it may mean my death.
I don't doubt a piece of you broke then. A splinter of yourself trapped in time reliving that moment whenever you look at me. It's the same for me, too. If I'm tense, I can feel it. My arms and legs still ache.
[He is too Ancient Egyptian to know the diagnosis of PTSD, but it's what he's describing.]
But you must remember... it was not your fault. You didn't cause it to happen.
( she knows, on some level, that he's not as open to touch. but it hurts, and she's emotional, and maybe she's a little selfish, because she closes the distance to hug him regardless, blinking away tears.
[Ah... yep, this is a hug. She's hugging him. A hug definitely is happening. His eyes are wide open, board stiff and unwieldy in her arms, like a cat caught. Touch remains foreign, the gentle pressure of another person almost painful. But he understands in his head and heart she needs this, so he frees up a hand to rub her upper back in a soothing, circular motion]
I won't lie to you, Mafuyu... These experiences don't make anyone stronger. They weaken us. Bit by bit, they sap our strength even in the most quiet of moments... But they do make us more conscientious.
I promise I won't put myself in that situation again if I can help it.
week 8 - dream sharing: look at me making up memories on the fly
it's been a weird occurrence all week, hasn't it? something as mundane as sleep eluding you, plunging you into the dream bubbles that you have heard or experienced for yourself over the course of the past two weeks.
this dream is different. this dream is not yours, and you are a visitor.
in the dream, joshua is there. he doesn't look quite the same as you know him. he looks older, a quiet observer. the other participants in the dream don't seem to notice that joshua is there, either. you are the only one who can see him.
what you can also hear is the conversation - between two teenaged-looking boys and a man with sunglasses.
"is it done? we survived seven days, we won the Game, we can go home now, right?"
"not quite. what if i told you that we could only send one of you home, instead of you both?"
"the fuck does that mean? wasn't it in the rules that if you won the Game you get to go back, right?!"
"the Composer wills it so."
there is a dead, horrified silence.
"w-wait, you’re really only sending one of us back?"
"it's up to you."
the two boys look at each other. the first one swallows, clenches his fist and says in a rush, "i can't choose. i want it to be me but... it's--that's not fair. we did this together. so i guess i'm, i'm choosing him? i don't-- why are you making me choose?"
there's another silence, the man in sunglasses looking impassively at the second boy. waiting. joshua waits too, looking at all three of them.
"i can't... i can't do it either. i guess it's both of us or neither or something, i don't know. it's not fair. i want to go home but you can't ask me to kill my partner to make it happen, y'know."
joshua sighs. the other participants in the room don't seem to hear him, but you do, loud and clear. ]
A little weak, but it'll do. Send them both back. That is my judgment.
[ the man in the sunglasses then says: "the Composer is satisfied with your answers. so we are sending you both back home. well done."
the dream fades, but joshua remains. ]
Did you enjoy the show?
[ he's addressing atem directly now. ]
a memshare? thaaanks
[What's with everyone barging into his mind and forcing their memories on him? Stop it already! It's getting old, fast. He only has so much patience.]
Why are you showing me this?
[And where are they anyway? The last thing Atem remembers before whatever is happening is laying his head down to rest for the night. They don't seem to be in his dorm room...]
ur welcome
[ it's perfectly calibrated just to annoy atem. but for the most part, joshua is used to people coming in and out of his dreamscape, even if it's intentional like it seems to be with our poor pharaoh.
so joshua shrugs. ]
It's not me. Or well, even if it isn't me, it's probably something the Nekyia is doing. Something about a Dream-King?
[ he skimmed through the commissions, ok. ]
Or, it thought that maybe this was something that you wanted to see?
[ they're in a kind of room, though it's definitely not atem's. it's stone walls and concrete, and there's a throne where joshua is perched on delicately, almost looking down at atem in very thinly veiled curiosity. ]
I don't get very many visitors, most of the time.
no subject
[Goose flesh pecks along his skin as the hairs on his nape stand on end.
He does not want to be here. Not with someone who apparently decides who lives and dies on a throne staring down at him. Too familiar in a very, very bad way.
But the Dream-King comment catches his attention.]
So you think this is a Shadow's doing.
dn: piss off / un: kaine || towards the beginning of week 11
[When the prospect of stargazing at the temple had come up during the aquarium sleepover, Kainé had made it sound like anything to do with it would have to come from Atem's initiative. Who knows why she decided to stop by and see the grounds despite little interest in playing nice with Braphine and her followers? Whatever brought her there, something about the eerie silence of the place prickles the hairs on the back of her neck.]
no subject
I don't know actually.
[He was resting in the Dorm since he explored those two palaces back to back... So when Kainé mentioned something was weird, he decided to check it out before he got back to her. After exploring a bit he has some ideas, though no real answers.]
It almost feels like the city did when we first arrived.
That shouldn't be possible--- we're actively clearing the God of Conflict's influence from Nekyia.
no subject
this is really pissing me off. maybe fucking up some more shadows will do something about it. [That, or she's needless redirecting her feelings into violence again, but no big deal.]
no subject
You want some help? I've been practicing my healing spells.
no subject
at least in there it feels like we're supposed to be in the shit, instead of it leaking out all over the place.
[With the boundaries between the real and the imaginary blurring every day - and about to blur even more - distinguishing up from down is starting to become a dizzying task.]
guess people are just like this. [It's easy to be angry and suspicious.]
a couple days after sou's palace
I- I shouldn't keep forgetting, should I? So...
no subject
[He notices her demeanor and steps back from the doorway, gesturing for her to come inside.]
Thank you for returning it to me. Please... come inside, Mafuyu.
no subject
( and then he invites her in. ... that was not part of the plan- )
Eh?
no subject
[Don't leave him waiting!]
no subject
she still does as requested, gently handing the puzzle over. )
About...?
no subject
[He takes the Puzzle into his hand! And closes the door before he walks over and sets it gently on his desk.
Said desk is somehow chaotic and organized, covered in handwritten notes, books with annotations, Mafuyu's aromatherapy bottles, playing cards, a caddy full of make-up, and a supicious amount of Jack Frost gachapon toys. What's another thing on top of that?
His room is otherwise sparse! He spends most time at his desk or sleeping when he's in here. He has a few selfie pics of Joshua and him printed and taped onto the wall closest to his bed, though.]
Make yourself comfortable wherever you like.
no subject
( is he going to finally scold her or get upset? there's a heavy pit in her stomach starting to form and she hates it. ... she'll take the desk chair and sit. )
Okay.
no subject
[Too bad, he's getting her a bottle of water anyway!
Then he settles on his bed, crosses one leg over another.]
You seem to have a lot on your mind.
no subject
... Shin's palace was... a lot to deal with.
no subject
[He leans on his hands.]
You know I don't hold anything you did against you, right? We were all stressed and at our limit...
no subject
You're nicer than I am, then.
( because she can't stop thinking about how stupid she was. )
no subject
[He looks at her right in the eye.]
It was my choice to test the limits of the game master.
no subject
no subject
[His tone is light!]
no subject
( ... yeah, no, she's only getting more upset. )
no subject
Regardless of what you said in that moment... I would have voted the same, again and again. I will always choose to speak the truth than lie or the life of another over my own--- especially that of a dear friend or family member. Even if it may mean my death.
no subject
there's a soft break in her voice- )
I still see your husk when I look at you, sometimes. It hurts, Atem.
no subject
[Being honest.]
I don't doubt a piece of you broke then. A splinter of yourself trapped in time reliving that moment whenever you look at me. It's the same for me, too. If I'm tense, I can feel it. My arms and legs still ache.
[He is too Ancient Egyptian to know the diagnosis of PTSD, but it's what he's describing.]
But you must remember... it was not your fault. You didn't cause it to happen.
no subject
( she knows, on some level, that he's not as open to touch. but it hurts, and she's emotional, and maybe she's a little selfish, because she closes the distance to hug him regardless, blinking away tears.
sorry, atem. )
no subject
I won't lie to you, Mafuyu... These experiences don't make anyone stronger. They weaken us. Bit by bit, they sap our strength even in the most quiet of moments... But they do make us more conscientious.
I promise I won't put myself in that situation again if I can help it.