[ An easy answer to give. None of what McGillis is doing here and now is like him - even just answering Argenti honestly despite the danger inherent in doing so... He's betraying himself in a thousand ways, and he can only hope that it'll be worth it at the end of. ]
And that's exactly why I am doing it - I have spent the whole of my life keeping people at arm's length and relying on illusions and other people's false assumptions. In the end, that lead to my failure and death.
Having been given a second life, it would be unbecoming to repeat the same strategy unaltered, wouldn't it?
[ There is a small almost self-deprecating smile on his face - it's not quite a joke, but the use of the word strategy is at least tongue-in-cheek here. ]
In many ways, I am your opposite. Lifting my self-imposed isolation is to me as straying from your Path would be to you. Or it that 'would have been', now?
[ This treachery to oneself...it is a betrayal that can only be summed up starting with the name of the individual themselves. But, is it such a terrible thing? In perceived danger, there may be something more surprising uncovered. ]
...Yes, that's quite a way of putting it! It certainly wouldn't benefit you to adopt the strategy that has done nothing for you before.
[ It's strange, that Argenti thinks hearing it all on its own before wouldn't have exactly rung. But, for what he's seen McGillis be, and interact with others, he thinks that benefit has benefited others...in a way that isn't just transactional.
But, surprisingly, when McGillis says that, about the straying of paths, he realizes that what what he's said at times, and his actions mean...he too has done that, and finally he lets out a sheepish laugh. Opposites, yet similarities in this. Strange, but true. ]
I suppose I've already strayed from my Path in the way I am now. It's strange, even before I hadn't thought that until now. Previously, I used to think it would mean failure, but...it isn't that I've given into losing my self. I can ruminate on what this means, that I am still who I am now, but...
I endeavor to still spread and protect the nature of Beauty; yet, it is independent of the expectations I was saddled with. Perhaps in that too I am seeing where it leads me still.
[ Would this remain the case if he were in his original universe, though...? The thought is ominous enough that he isn't willing to try considering finding out by heading back. ]
So, even if we are opposites in so many ways, we somehow seem to have taken actions to deviate noticeably from how we made our approaches to matters in life. But, I don't think it's in a way that would have truly changed us so that we're entirely unrecognizable.
Look at what this city has done to us! It's strange. But, it isn't terrible...except perhaps we may have to be on the lookout for the Goddess being quite smug about it. [ A gentle tease: ] Do you think you can withstand that, my dear friend?
[ 'My dear friend'... The words evoke a sentiment that McGillis refuses to call 'relief'. Nevertheless, it makes him relax.
From almost the very beginning, he'd been getting close to Argenti under the assumption that he was dealing with a ticking time bomb. And even so, there'd been something radiant about such endless chivalry and he hadn't been able to pull away from it. How lucky for him that the bomb now appears defused.
For the first time since they got close, McGillis can simply breathe easily around Argenti. ]
Frankly, just thinking about it vexes me... but I have endured worse.
[ It really does suck though that in the end he just did what Braphine wanted of him! WOW! ]
I cannot afford to offend her yet, so I shall have to bear with it.
[ STUPID GODDESS.
But also... There's a pause and then he has to ask: ]
Am I interpreting correctly that you are splitting from the formal order of your religion now, despite continuing to observe its teachings for yourself?
Argenti himself has wondered whatever matters of uncertainty that had surrounded him regarding McGillis would end up resolved, or perhaps be something that can even be surpassed. Though ironically, he realizes he hasn't truly ever held doubts that they would be. Belief or those moments of individual brightness from McGillis being the cause?
He could not say. But now, hearing him speak on this matter, he's looking appropriately amused. ]
It indeed makes sense not to try to offend her so. But, you have always struck me as someone who could easily manage to not.
[ On the other matter...his expression turns considering, and pensive. But, somehow more at peace, with a little smile. It seems he is happy McGillis has understood him. ]
...Yes, you are most certainly correct. I wish to follow the Path my own way, without association with that order. As of now I can say I am no longer one of the Honorclad of the Knights of Beauty.
I used to find the idea terrifying, but now I feel at ease. At peace.
Though I know deep in my soul it is impossible to be anything but inexorably linked to Idrila, that does not mean I cannot proceed about embodying and protecting Beauty in my own, unique way. Whatever the goddess thinks of it...I imagine I will find out someday or maybe not. But, I am not seeking approval.
As you too carve your new path in the universe, so shall I! [ Argenti gestures dramatically towards who knows where, smiling brightly and radiantly. ] Let us continue to embrace the beautiful nature of our new and radiant ways forward with unrestrained vigor!
It shall be like flowers blossoming newly in spring, the gentle but welcoming morning rain! Is there nothing more delightful than that?
And is there not anything more satisfying, then embracing the beautiful and wonderful what we have gained from it? What we have yet to grasp in our hands but may do so when we are staring in the face of its radiance?!
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[ An easy answer to give. None of what McGillis is doing here and now is like him - even just answering Argenti honestly despite the danger inherent in doing so... He's betraying himself in a thousand ways, and he can only hope that it'll be worth it at the end of. ]
And that's exactly why I am doing it - I have spent the whole of my life keeping people at arm's length and relying on illusions and other people's false assumptions. In the end, that lead to my failure and death.
Having been given a second life, it would be unbecoming to repeat the same strategy unaltered, wouldn't it?
[ There is a small almost self-deprecating smile on his face - it's not quite a joke, but the use of the word strategy is at least tongue-in-cheek here. ]
In many ways, I am your opposite. Lifting my self-imposed isolation is to me as straying from your Path would be to you. Or it that 'would have been', now?
no subject
...Yes, that's quite a way of putting it! It certainly wouldn't benefit you to adopt the strategy that has done nothing for you before.
[ It's strange, that Argenti thinks hearing it all on its own before wouldn't have exactly rung. But, for what he's seen McGillis be, and interact with others, he thinks that benefit has benefited others...in a way that isn't just transactional.
But, surprisingly, when McGillis says that, about the straying of paths, he realizes that what what he's said at times, and his actions mean...he too has done that, and finally he lets out a sheepish laugh. Opposites, yet similarities in this. Strange, but true. ]
I suppose I've already strayed from my Path in the way I am now. It's strange, even before I hadn't thought that until now. Previously, I used to think it would mean failure, but...it isn't that I've given into losing my self. I can ruminate on what this means, that I am still who I am now, but...
I endeavor to still spread and protect the nature of Beauty; yet, it is independent of the expectations I was saddled with. Perhaps in that too I am seeing where it leads me still.
[ Would this remain the case if he were in his original universe, though...? The thought is ominous enough that he isn't willing to try considering finding out by heading back. ]
So, even if we are opposites in so many ways, we somehow seem to have taken actions to deviate noticeably from how we made our approaches to matters in life. But, I don't think it's in a way that would have truly changed us so that we're entirely unrecognizable.
Look at what this city has done to us! It's strange. But, it isn't terrible...except perhaps we may have to be on the lookout for the Goddess being quite smug about it. [ A gentle tease: ] Do you think you can withstand that, my dear friend?
no subject
From almost the very beginning, he'd been getting close to Argenti under the assumption that he was dealing with a ticking time bomb. And even so, there'd been something radiant about such endless chivalry and he hadn't been able to pull away from it. How lucky for him that the bomb now appears defused.
For the first time since they got close, McGillis can simply breathe easily around Argenti. ]
Frankly, just thinking about it vexes me... but I have endured worse.
[ It really does suck though that in the end he just did what Braphine wanted of him! WOW! ]
I cannot afford to offend her yet, so I shall have to bear with it.
[ STUPID GODDESS.
But also... There's a pause and then he has to ask: ]
Am I interpreting correctly that you are splitting from the formal order of your religion now, despite continuing to observe its teachings for yourself?
no subject
Argenti himself has wondered whatever matters of uncertainty that had surrounded him regarding McGillis would end up resolved, or perhaps be something that can even be surpassed. Though ironically, he realizes he hasn't truly ever held doubts that they would be. Belief or those moments of individual brightness from McGillis being the cause?
He could not say. But now, hearing him speak on this matter, he's looking appropriately amused. ]
It indeed makes sense not to try to offend her so. But, you have always struck me as someone who could easily manage to not.
[ On the other matter...his expression turns considering, and pensive. But, somehow more at peace, with a little smile. It seems he is happy McGillis has understood him. ]
...Yes, you are most certainly correct. I wish to follow the Path my own way, without association with that order. As of now I can say I am no longer one of the Honorclad of the Knights of Beauty.
I used to find the idea terrifying, but now I feel at ease. At peace.
Though I know deep in my soul it is impossible to be anything but inexorably linked to Idrila, that does not mean I cannot proceed about embodying and protecting Beauty in my own, unique way. Whatever the goddess thinks of it...I imagine I will find out someday or maybe not. But, I am not seeking approval.
As you too carve your new path in the universe, so shall I! [ Argenti gestures dramatically towards who knows where, smiling brightly and radiantly. ] Let us continue to embrace the beautiful nature of our new and radiant ways forward with unrestrained vigor!
It shall be like flowers blossoming newly in spring, the gentle but welcoming morning rain! Is there nothing more delightful than that?
And is there not anything more satisfying, then embracing the beautiful and wonderful what we have gained from it? What we have yet to grasp in our hands but may do so when we are staring in the face of its radiance?!