[The problem with being fragmented is that, it becomes difficult to place all her pieces back together. Nothing fits quite right, misaligned and disjointed, and Schneider is all the more aware of things that shouldn't be there, in someone like her, who had no future and no past anymore.]
It's all about taking advantage of the moment, no?
[Schneider makes them a coffee - it's not going to be any good, but it will do - and carries over the cup, passing it over to Kaine, letting their fingers brush together]
[They made it out of the orange grove, but the paranoia is still there - and might always be - that not everything made it out with them. By the time she left the place behind for good, Kainé was on the brink of losing something else very special.]
Thanks. [She starts a little when their fingers brush, pure lovesick teenager behavior. She wants to keep thinking about it that way, just a stupid little crush on someone who opened up for her, but when she tries to summon Tyrann’s bitter mocking voice in her imagination the way she had before, she can’t.]
It’s what we have. [Together… but speaking that, saying she doesn’t want to lose it… It’s easier said with the touch of their hands together, sharing a cup of coffee that will only last a short while.]
[Schneider's gaze flickers, her smile deepening as she takes her seat again, knees brushing against Kaine's. They did not have time, this was something that would not extend beyond a moment tangled with yearning and desires unsaid. Schneider did not think her heart would beat for anyone and yet here she was, somehow romantic enough to imagine their hearts beating in tandem]
And we're opportunists. It would be a shame to waste time, hm?
You're an opportunist. You're rubbing off on me. [She's just trying to get by, even when it means wading upstream through a river of bullshit. She slides the plate she was sharing off of closer to Schneider, feeling an atypical impatience. Well, she's usually impatient, but not usually anxious about it.]
We've got... [Time, but they don't. Even in terms of this room, they only have a few hours. They could stay longer, but neither of them made the choice to do that. It was one nice thing about the lily field if that place could be just a field and not a place to hold impossible and painful hopes. It would have been easy to stay there forever.] We've got to make this memorable. How long is a bad cup of coffee gonna last?
[By saying that, she means she'd like the bad cup of coffee to remain forever. This is exactly what she wants to remember. It's exactly the kind of thing she thinks she might lose.]
[Schneider takes another bite of the cake, swallows, feeling a relief settle into her bones with every bite. Then she holds up a forkful to Kaine's mouth, a wry smile tugging at her lips]
As long as we want it to last.
[Slow sips, taking their time, drinking what they can to make sure it still exists. Topping it up with whatever remained in the coffee pot, until it turned too tepid and cool to distract them from the now]
[She's a liar. They might want it to last longer than it possibly can. They might drink too fast while everything is too hot and get burned. Kainé just doesn't want to sit back and accept that the only time they have is the only time they have.
Kainé looks at the fork Schneider's holding out to her with that little smile that always disarms her. Her face flushes hot.]
I keep telling you it's too sweet. [The cake, the moment, the way Schneider keeps treating her as if she deserves it.
... God, she's so fucking bad at this coffee and cake analogy. Kainé takes the bite off the fork, her expression a little pouty. She's not particularly good at being flirted with, either, but she's not even aware of that one.]
[ Schneider's smile might be a little smug. There is a delicate flush to Kaine's face that makes her want to reach out and trace how far down Kaine's skin it can go.]
Then you should cut it with the coffee. It would be a waste to throw this out because it's too sweet.
[Too sugary, too saccharine for what they are and yet... Schneider licks off the remaining cream off the fork as she sets down the empty plate. They ordered too little. Or ate too fast to stave off the hunger gnawing at their bones]
[She takes a too-fast gulp of coffee, only hurried by how she watches Schneider lick the fork clean. At least she doesn't do anything embarrassing like choke on the drink in her mouth. But it does nothing to mitigate the stippling of heat across her cheeks.]
The last thing I want to do is waste it. Just because I'm not sentimental all the time doesn't mean I just throw shit away. [Kainé can't put her fears about this becoming another white void with tastes and words and feelings that can't linger in her memory into words. It's as if it'll happen if she says it. If she watches long enough, maybe she can engrave this - engrave Schneider - into her memory instead.]
[Schneider hums with pleased laughter, setting the fork down on the plate and shrugs off her fur jacket, tossing it to the side. It is a bit warm now for it]
Mmm. No. I can tell. You're the type to value what you have.
[This, Schneider knew with a certainty. After all, wasn't she the same? With as little as either of them had, they tended to hoard it fiercely, taking whatever time they had as if it would disappear in a moment's notice.
[Kainé pulls her leg up so she can rest on her knee while they're sitting. She drinks a little more, though the almost scalding coffee from the machine already seems to be going a little cold, for some reason.]
That go for you, too?
[Does she "have" her? Do they both "have" each other, even though it's endangered? So much of Kainé's fight lately has been to enforce that her life is hers to live as she chooses.
Maybe that's why she's slow right now, even with Schneider touching her at every opportunity, running her tongue along the fork, and baring more skin - if Kainé picks up on those things any more than subconsciously, to begin with. It's holding on. It's control.]
Mmm...[Schneider pretends to turn the phrase over in her head. What does she "have" now? The end is approaching again and Schneider doesn't want to open her eyes to find herself with sand slipping through her fingers once more.] I must, since I have good taste. And I've never been afraid of taking advantage of the moment.
[She stretches out, legs bumping Kaine's as she sprawls against the couch. The bed is close by and more tempting. But here, there's some measure of control still]
[Now that they've settled into place, it's easy to casually rest her hand on Schneider's leg - light, comfortable touches that betray how Kainé feels at ease around her when the walls are down. Her palm crests over Schneider's knee, heavy and warm. Skin against skin cuts through the cold, unshakeable sensation of things crumbling and falling away - like ruins of a place that's never been abandoned.
Is that all they have - moments? None of this might matter... maybe it will all go away. Fuck that. She's done with being told what her loss is going to be like.]
This kind of moment... is it the kind you're going to remember? [What would it take to brand it in place, indelible?]
[Schneider smiles, leaning forward again to brush a strand of hair out of Kaine's face. It's a strange little dance, moving closer, then shying away as if fearing the paint that was inevitable. Yet here they were, leaning towards each other once more]
Of course. This is something to remember. You are certainly someone to remember.
[It's going to hurt like a bitch, but Kainé had thought at least that being used to the pain and preparing for it would have lessened it. She's usually good at ignoring pain - at least, she's good at pretending she doesn't feel it - but this is like getting kicked in the same wound over and over.
She tilts into the hand brushing along her cheek. And if her mouth presses against Schneider's wrist with an exhale, not quite a kiss but the ghost of something wanting, then it's just another bid to cling onto something real.]
I thought it'd happen again. You'd be gone. ... Maybe I'd even forget you, too.
[She can't know for certain that whatever inexplicable hollowness in her memories and dreams is the effect of forgetting instead of the phantom of something that was never there to begin with. Comparing the two feels dangerous, adding more weight and meaning to something that's been undefined to keep it safe. Another kick in the bruise.]
... More than that, started thinking it was what you wanted.
[She cups Kaine's cheek a little more, rubbing her thumb over the curve of her cheek bone]
My memories are one of the few things that are my own entirely.
[She wants to bite, she wants to leave a physical mark of her presence. I lived. That's what she wants with a burning ferociousness. Even if it hurts Kaine, and hurts her in turn.]
[She can't cry again. It's been happening much too easily and in front of too many people--these splintering cracks that reveal the softness that had tried to burn off of her like alcohol, scalded by the vengeance, the possession, the loss. This time, luckily, she doesn't.
Kainé wants to say the same for her memories, for her life. Like Schneider, she wants to sink her teeth viciously into those things. Action's always going to be easier. It's not just a memory, but it isn't just "now."
She tugs her closer, hand still on her leg.]
If it pissed you off that much, get back at me for it.
[Schneider's smile grows, edged with danger and warmth all at once. She sinks her fingers into Kaine's hair and pulls her close]
Oh. You don't have to invite me to do that.
[And she sinks her teeth into the delicate curve of Kaine's neck, biting hard enough to leave a deep mark before she begins to soften it with her tongue and lips. She is still raw, her wounds ripped open by the damn gods of this world that saw each person as a play thing in their petty little fight. Drawing Kaine in close, reminding herself of what she wants, what she's not allowed to keep, is a little like pouring salt into the wounds.
[Oh. Kainé hisses, a combined response to the fingers firmly latched in her hair and the teeth latched into her skin. And it's...so much like her, really, that it would be a little scary if she cared to think about it. But she doesn't. But it's the only thing that's ever made a mark for either of them, isn't it? It's been the only way she's known how to feel anything for years.
That's why it's bound to be rough again. It feels good that way, and why shouldn't they both enjoy themselves while getting too close to the fire?]
Do you feel better now? [She bites at the wrist close to her face, sucking a little as her neck is kissed. When she sees Schneider like this, she doesn't really know what to do. It drives her crazy, but it hurts. The energy just wells up and fumes, chasing its own tail.
It's bound to be rough, yeah, but...Kainé draws Schneider's face up to kiss at her mouth, hungry and open.]
No. Not yet. [She makes a breathless little noise for that bite, but then Kaine is drawing her up into a kiss, and how can she ignore that? She kisses Kaine deeply, matching her hunger with her own. She presses Kaine back into the sofa, and if that sends empty dishes clattering to the floor, she ignores it. It's all part of the scenario now; something heated and rushed, barely lingering on something so delicate. She slings a leg over Kaine's hip, climbing into her lap with practised ease]
[Tense for just a second, Kainé quickly adjusts to receive her. Her legs adjust to make an actual lap for Schneider, though her knees stay bent enough to nst her close and make a snugger fit. The hand that had rested on Schneider's leg moves around to hold the small of her back as she deepens the kiss, putting up a cursory fight before letting Schneider do as she will with her mouth. She doesn't really mind it like this, letting her take over... it wouldn't be her first time letting control slip through her hands while chasing after something fleeting.
Blood rushes dizzyingly in Kainé's ears. It doesn't have to be careless and hurried anymore, especially since they're starting things here in a room more comfortable and private than Kainé has ever really been. But if they let it slow, how will they fill those quiet gaps?]
What'll do it? [She's still playing Schneider's scapegoat, the outlet for her frustrations.]
[ Schneider kisses Kaine a little more deeply, as Kaine moves to let them fit better together. She presses opened mouth kisses down Kaine's neck and for a moment, it seems like she's slowing down to something more gentle, before she nips at Kaine's soft skin again]
I don't know if I can ever be satisfied.
[Chase the thrill, the heat. Don't let herself linger for too long or she'll be consumed instead]
[She moans quietly. Even normal little kisses like this can feel like a match striking against her skin. It really is like a fire; it eats them up again and again. She rocks a little, and her hands sink to Schneider's hips, where her dress has probably already started to bunch up. They hold on tightly for purchase, fingers digging into her ass and holding her in place.]
You just want to keep me on the hook forever.
[... Shit. Kainé doesn't really flirt - she isn't good at it - and maybe she can blame that for why she isn't thinking when she brings up something they don't have. But Kainé doesn't backtrack to correct herself. They have the night. They have time. They get to demand that. Especially Schneider, who wasn't supposed to get more time at all.]
[Schneider chuckles, her breath ghosting over Kaine's skin. Kaine is an addiction she can't get enough of]
Oh, so you know.
[She rolls her hips against Kaine's lap, humming with a pleased noise as she nuzzles her way, mouthing along the curve of Kaine's breast. Hopefully, there were less tights and layers to get in her way this time]
That's right. Once I catch something, I don't intend on letting go.
[Fortunately, there are no tights to get in the way this time, and the separates she's wearing will be much easier to peel away from her body as they go. But Schneider's the problem now, isn't she, with those stockings and buckles to worry about?]
"Catch" something? [Kainé chuckles, head tilted back against the couch. Her hands keep Schneider rocking against her; it's not enough to get her too excited yet, but every roll sends molten electricity through her veins.] I'm not your fish. But I'm...
[Hers, at least for right now. And even if it's just for right now, the mark that's left won't go away. She fidgets more the lower Schneider's mouth moves, but not enough to distract from her positive coo in response to the warm heat moving over her breast.]
[Schneider hums with interest, nuzzling down the cloth to mouth at a nipple, while she gropes gently at the other breast]
So this is what you enjoy? What else?
[ Kaine is hers, even if it's just for the moment. And she's always been very good at making sure what is hers feels valued, has every consideration paid to their wants and needs.
Schneider's clothes are Kaine's problem at the moment because she's deftly undoing Kaine's top with no thought of giving Kaine helping hand with her own stockings and buckles]
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It's all about taking advantage of the moment, no?
[Schneider makes them a coffee - it's not going to be any good, but it will do - and carries over the cup, passing it over to Kaine, letting their fingers brush together]
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Thanks. [She starts a little when their fingers brush, pure lovesick teenager behavior. She wants to keep thinking about it that way, just a stupid little crush on someone who opened up for her, but when she tries to summon Tyrann’s bitter mocking voice in her imagination the way she had before, she can’t.]
It’s what we have. [Together… but speaking that, saying she doesn’t want to lose it… It’s easier said with the touch of their hands together, sharing a cup of coffee that will only last a short while.]
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And we're opportunists. It would be a shame to waste time, hm?
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We've got... [Time, but they don't. Even in terms of this room, they only have a few hours. They could stay longer, but neither of them made the choice to do that. It was one nice thing about the lily field if that place could be just a field and not a place to hold impossible and painful hopes. It would have been easy to stay there forever.] We've got to make this memorable. How long is a bad cup of coffee gonna last?
[By saying that, she means she'd like the bad cup of coffee to remain forever. This is exactly what she wants to remember. It's exactly the kind of thing she thinks she might lose.]
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As long as we want it to last.
[Slow sips, taking their time, drinking what they can to make sure it still exists. Topping it up with whatever remained in the coffee pot, until it turned too tepid and cool to distract them from the now]
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Kainé looks at the fork Schneider's holding out to her with that little smile that always disarms her. Her face flushes hot.]
I keep telling you it's too sweet. [The cake, the moment, the way Schneider keeps treating her as if she deserves it.
... God, she's so fucking bad at this coffee and cake analogy. Kainé takes the bite off the fork, her expression a little pouty. She's not particularly good at being flirted with, either, but she's not even aware of that one.]
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Then you should cut it with the coffee. It would be a waste to throw this out because it's too sweet.
[Too sugary, too saccharine for what they are and yet... Schneider licks off the remaining cream off the fork as she sets down the empty plate. They ordered too little. Or ate too fast to stave off the hunger gnawing at their bones]
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[She takes a too-fast gulp of coffee, only hurried by how she watches Schneider lick the fork clean. At least she doesn't do anything embarrassing like choke on the drink in her mouth. But it does nothing to mitigate the stippling of heat across her cheeks.]
The last thing I want to do is waste it. Just because I'm not sentimental all the time doesn't mean I just throw shit away. [Kainé can't put her fears about this becoming another white void with tastes and words and feelings that can't linger in her memory into words. It's as if it'll happen if she says it. If she watches long enough, maybe she can engrave this - engrave Schneider - into her memory instead.]
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Mmm. No. I can tell. You're the type to value what you have.
[This, Schneider knew with a certainty. After all, wasn't she the same? With as little as either of them had, they tended to hoard it fiercely, taking whatever time they had as if it would disappear in a moment's notice.
It's not an unfounded fear for either of them]
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That go for you, too?
[Does she "have" her? Do they both "have" each other, even though it's endangered? So much of Kainé's fight lately has been to enforce that her life is hers to live as she chooses.
Maybe that's why she's slow right now, even with Schneider touching her at every opportunity, running her tongue along the fork, and baring more skin - if Kainé picks up on those things any more than subconsciously, to begin with. It's holding on. It's control.]
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[She stretches out, legs bumping Kaine's as she sprawls against the couch. The bed is close by and more tempting. But here, there's some measure of control still]
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Is that all they have - moments? None of this might matter... maybe it will all go away. Fuck that. She's done with being told what her loss is going to be like.]
This kind of moment... is it the kind you're going to remember? [What would it take to brand it in place, indelible?]
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Of course. This is something to remember. You are certainly someone to remember.
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She tilts into the hand brushing along her cheek. And if her mouth presses against Schneider's wrist with an exhale, not quite a kiss but the ghost of something wanting, then it's just another bid to cling onto something real.]
I thought it'd happen again. You'd be gone. ... Maybe I'd even forget you, too.
[She can't know for certain that whatever inexplicable hollowness in her memories and dreams is the effect of forgetting instead of the phantom of something that was never there to begin with. Comparing the two feels dangerous, adding more weight and meaning to something that's been undefined to keep it safe. Another kick in the bruise.]
... More than that, started thinking it was what you wanted.
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[She cups Kaine's cheek a little more, rubbing her thumb over the curve of her cheek bone]
My memories are one of the few things that are my own entirely.
[She wants to bite, she wants to leave a physical mark of her presence. I lived. That's what she wants with a burning ferociousness. Even if it hurts Kaine, and hurts her in turn.]
Mmm, what shall I do now that you've misread me?
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Kainé wants to say the same for her memories, for her life. Like Schneider, she wants to sink her teeth viciously into those things. Action's always going to be easier. It's not just a memory, but it isn't just "now."
She tugs her closer, hand still on her leg.]
If it pissed you off that much, get back at me for it.
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Oh. You don't have to invite me to do that.
[And she sinks her teeth into the delicate curve of Kaine's neck, biting hard enough to leave a deep mark before she begins to soften it with her tongue and lips. She is still raw, her wounds ripped open by the damn gods of this world that saw each person as a play thing in their petty little fight. Drawing Kaine in close, reminding herself of what she wants, what she's not allowed to keep, is a little like pouring salt into the wounds.
She doesn't care]
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That's why it's bound to be rough again. It feels good that way, and why shouldn't they both enjoy themselves while getting too close to the fire?]
Do you feel better now? [She bites at the wrist close to her face, sucking a little as her neck is kissed. When she sees Schneider like this, she doesn't really know what to do. It drives her crazy, but it hurts. The energy just wells up and fumes, chasing its own tail.
It's bound to be rough, yeah, but...Kainé draws Schneider's face up to kiss at her mouth, hungry and open.]
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Blood rushes dizzyingly in Kainé's ears. It doesn't have to be careless and hurried anymore, especially since they're starting things here in a room more comfortable and private than Kainé has ever really been. But if they let it slow, how will they fill those quiet gaps?]
What'll do it? [She's still playing Schneider's scapegoat, the outlet for her frustrations.]
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[ Schneider kisses Kaine a little more deeply, as Kaine moves to let them fit better together. She presses opened mouth kisses down Kaine's neck and for a moment, it seems like she's slowing down to something more gentle, before she nips at Kaine's soft skin again]
I don't know if I can ever be satisfied.
[Chase the thrill, the heat. Don't let herself linger for too long or she'll be consumed instead]
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You just want to keep me on the hook forever.
[... Shit. Kainé doesn't really flirt - she isn't good at it - and maybe she can blame that for why she isn't thinking when she brings up something they don't have. But Kainé doesn't backtrack to correct herself. They have the night. They have time. They get to demand that. Especially Schneider, who wasn't supposed to get more time at all.]
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Oh, so you know.
[She rolls her hips against Kaine's lap, humming with a pleased noise as she nuzzles her way, mouthing along the curve of Kaine's breast. Hopefully, there were less tights and layers to get in her way this time]
That's right. Once I catch something, I don't intend on letting go.
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"Catch" something? [Kainé chuckles, head tilted back against the couch. Her hands keep Schneider rocking against her; it's not enough to get her too excited yet, but every roll sends molten electricity through her veins.] I'm not your fish. But I'm...
[Hers, at least for right now. And even if it's just for right now, the mark that's left won't go away. She fidgets more the lower Schneider's mouth moves, but not enough to distract from her positive coo in response to the warm heat moving over her breast.]
I like that. Touch me there.
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So this is what you enjoy? What else?
[ Kaine is hers, even if it's just for the moment. And she's always been very good at making sure what is hers feels valued, has every consideration paid to their wants and needs.
Schneider's clothes are Kaine's problem at the moment because she's deftly undoing Kaine's top with no thought of giving Kaine helping hand with her own stockings and buckles]
courtesy nsfw warning ig
lsmaosos can't be stopped
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