Have you heard of Idrila? I am one who follows them ardently, as a Knight of Beauty. If you ever wish to ask anything of me, I will gladly answer, and do my best to assist.
NOTE
The universe is filled with beauty. No matter where one is in the cosmos, this is a truth ingrained in existence itself. Therefore, I shall treasure every meeting between each and every beautiful soul I cross paths with.
it's been a weird occurrence all week, hasn't it? something as mundane as sleep eluding you, plunging you into the dream bubbles that you have heard or experienced for yourself over the course of the past two weeks.
this dream is different. this dream is not yours, and you are a visitor.
in the dream, joshua is there. he doesn't look quite the same as you know him. he looks older, a quiet observer. the other participants in the dream don't seem to notice that joshua is there, either. you are the only one who can see him.
what you can also hear is the conversation - between two teenaged-looking boys and a man with sunglasses.
"is it done? we survived seven days, we won the Game, we can go home now, right?"
"not quite. what if i told you that we could only send one of you home, instead of you both?"
"the fuck does that mean? wasn't it in the rules that if you won the Game you get to go back, right?!"
"He wills it so."
there is a dead, horrified silence.
"w-wait, you’re really only sending one of us back?"
"it's up to you."
the two boys look at each other. the first one swallows, clenches his fist and says in a rush, "i can't choose. i want it to be me but... it's--that's not fair. we did this together. so i guess i'm, i'm choosing him? i don't-- why are you making me choose?"
there's another silence, the man in sunglasses looking impassively at the second boy. waiting. joshua waits too, looking at all three of them.
"i can't... i can't do it either. i guess it's both of us or neither or something, i don't know. it's not fair. i want to go home but you can't ask me to kill my partner to make it happen, y'know."
joshua sighs. the other participants in the room don't seem to hear him, but you do, loud and clear. ]
A little weak, but it'll do. Send them both back. That is my judgment.
[ the man in the sunglasses then says: "... He is satisfied with your answers. so we are sending you both back home. well done."
[ Something about this unsettles him. Honestly, there has been something about Joshua that has been unsettling him for a long time now, and this does not help.
He tries to find an answer to the question but instead he just blurts out: ]
Why would I enjoy something like that?
What is this about 'your judgment'? ...What kind of Game were you sending people through?
[ The memories still are fresh in his mind, but he can't just let it all go unquestioned at the very least. ]
[ there's a delicate arch of joshua's brow, and the haze around him clears just a little bit. just enough for argenti to see that joshua's been sitting of a throne of concrete this entire time, watching from up above.
he is the king of this domain, after all. ]
I thought you would. Or at least, the dreamscape thought you would.
[ joshua laughs, but there's something sad, quiet, contemplative about it, even if he pretends to be flippant. ]
It's what I do, Argenti. I judge if Players are worthy to be returned to life.
[ Argenti recognizes the feeling of being looked down upon a god's throne - and though the line of thought gives him pause, as what the other man says to indicate that is exactly what he is, in some manner of speaking.
A god. One, perhaps, of life and death - or maybe he is simply someone who forced others into a horrendous game of life or death. He intends to know the difference soon enough.
I thought you would.
The words spoken to him at first make his stomach churn, before Joshua follows that up with a strange conflict in the. It frustrates him, but it drives his curiosity further. ]
...The dreamscape is a rather horrid one.
And if you had thought that of me, you know little of what I find enjoyable - and I thought that would be apparent from our last, yet fraught discussion.
[ He leaves out a tense breath, feeling on the verge of something earth-shattering, but potentially inscrutably frustrating all the same. ]
If that is so, why do you judge "Players"? Why are you in such a position at all? What are you, exactly?
I do happen to think that the dreamscapes tend to be quite good at dragging out things I had once forgotten. Perhaps we should deal with that one day.
[ too many lives, too many Games, as they say. and there was that commission that dear mina posted about the dream king, no? ]
No, no, my dear Argenti. [ a laugh. ] You misunderstand, as many do.
Tell me, is there nothing more beautiful than a soul forged through fire, refined through trial, their potential unlocked through things that they never expected to see or experience?
[ a gesture at the scene before them that faded earlier, although if argenti looks hard enough, the dreamscape shifts, the faint, dream-like outlines of the two boys from earlier. ]
His answer satisfied me because on the first day of the Game, he would have willingly sacrificed his Partner to get out alive. By the end of the Game, you saw that he hesitated, that he didn't think that he would be able to kill his Partner even when I gave him that choice. Curious how the human Soul evolves, doesn't it?
Players play the Game, and I judge the outcome. And why? Well, let's just say it came with the job description.
[ a tilt of his head, curious, a little amused, but definitely less antagonistic than joshua usually comes off as. ]
What do you think I am? There's no right or wrong answer, I'm feeling generous at the moment.
Edited 2024-09-23 17:21 (UTC)
HELP it's fine, Argenti deserves it because he yaps people's heads off in turn.
[ It's unfortunate that he understands keenly Joshua's words, about a soul being forged through fire; he is just questioning how it is done, though. Idrila sets upon him THEIR trials all the time, but those are different than these ones, he understands that much. ]
...I say that is a good transformation, yes. Though, I do wonder what transpired in this "Game" at all.
[ Anyway, he takes notice of the way the dreamscape shifts so subtly, yet distinctly enough for someone who is paying way close attention. And he is the type of person who does, for that matter. His brows furrow as he further ponders over Joshua description in the change in nature, which is indeed ideal, but he wonders what he is implying otherwise by 'job description'? Hello?
Argenti also hesitates as he tries to review what the memories had shown him before, and admittedly some of his bias is clouding his judgment. Maybe remnants of his frustration, though he doesn't want to blurt out a thoughtless guess out of sheer stubbornness.
So the pause lingers, and his brows furrow a bit deeper as he desperately tries to piece together an answer; he takes a breath, and reviews his own initial assumptions. ]
...A god who judges a soul once they have crossed beyond the realm of the dead. Though, you are one who has special powers to revive an individual even when they have died? But also potentially condemn them forever.
[ Something closer to what he's heard of what those 'blessed' by the Abundance can have - a return to life, but this seems far more involved than that, so he's throwing in some guesses about Joshua's powers as well. If any of these is true, he'd be far more powerful than some Aeons, potentially. ]
[ a beat. joshua looks contemplative for a moment, and then-- ]
Truthfully, I don't remember.
[ a shrug. ]
One of many Games, really, and while I generally give the direction, I leave the minutiae to the Game Masters. That Player report was rather dull, I remember, which necessitated another test, the one you just saw.
[ and joshua claps at argenti's guess. it's not condescending at all, even though it could very well come off as that. maybe. ]
Well done. A little bit off on the details, but something like that.
[ given the amount of hints that he's dropped so far especially in this conversation alone, he would be more surprised if argenti didn't at least guess half of what he was capable of. joshua kiryu for aeon of finality, maybe-- ok I'll stop with the jokes now. ]
Not all winners are worthy, after all. I can't be handing out participation prizes to everyone.
[ At this, Argenti closes his eyes, thinking about all of what Joshua has said - what he is saying at all. He actually has no idea what to think of it at all; and he is still searching for faults in what he is saying. This isn't the fault of any shadow encroaching upon his soul, this is just him, and the still lingering resentment.
But, it doesn't stop him from being a good listener. ]
...You mentioned about doing something about the dreamscapes and what it has been dragging out. I shall accompany you on your quest to eliminate what is responsible for this mess.
[ Argenti is a little hesitant at the idea, but the man is answering his questions honestly. Even if he scrutinizes the way Joshua clapped.
So, maybe...anyway, he will have to see at that time if they can truly work together without SOMETHING going wrong (did you know it is 2 for 2 how many times they have fought side by side and matters have gone tipsy-turvy?)
Anyway Sunday! Joshua or perhaps the true Aeon of Finality who was originally the missing-[REDACTED HEADCANONS] ]
...You are used to having others play these 'Games' in order to return back to their lives. Games in which test or judge their character. [ He pauses, trying to asses again Joshua's actions. Was he still playing out a game in his head, in that meeting...? ] Is this role of yours something that you enjoy? Or took on out of a sense of obligation?
[ blink. it was an offhand comment, but he truly wasn't expecting for argenti to volunteer to actually deal with the problem together, but--
joshua can't say that he's opposed to the idea. it's a different kind of partnership, after all. ]
I might take you up on that offer when we are awake, then~
[ maybe one day the dice won't hate us but looks at the mini event and closes my eyes a little. that's a problem for another time and for future joshua to deal with.
anyway! joshua doesn't seem too surprised at argenti's conflicted stance about him. it's something he's used to by this point, although that last question catches him off guard for a moment, but only for a split second where he gathers himself. ]
Of course. What use is sending someone back if they stay stagnant and never live up to their full potential?
[ ... ]
Something like that. A little bit of both, maybe? You could say it was a choice I made. [ it's accompanied by a shrug, meant to look more flippant than it actually is, but it's a little bit too carefully rehearsed, too easily flippant. ] Do you ever find yourself in a place where you know that you're meant to be there?
[ Offhand remark or not, it had been put out there. Argenti isn't the type to ignore it and he has seen the suffering experienced by many throughout this week thus far due to the memories being provided so seamlessly. ]
I shall hold you to it.
[ His words are firm but true. Argenti will track Joshua down himself if he must. He's taken the offer seriously thankfully the mini-event has ended and well he does notice the split second of break in composure. However small. ]
...People make choices and though they must be prepared to reap the consequences of them, it does not mean that there are times they wish they could make another.
[ Argenti speaks this from the heart, from experience. ]
That being said, I do. Though, as a Knight of Beauty, I often find myself not lingering for long, and having the freedom to leave such a place that no longer needs my services. Or eventually finding myself on a new road wherein I know not much about my destination, but find my heart ever so excited to greet it beautifully as I shall with each new bright, lovingly inspiring day.
...Perhaps you came to be there because of your choices, because of your duty. And adhering to one's duty can be beautiful, as I know the distinct pleasure of it myself. But if your heart is not in it, does it even hold any meaning for you any longer?
You should have the freedom to choose where you wish to be. Perhaps that means indeed a "place", but it is a state of mind I believe as well. Where you are...is it not something that should be decided ultimately by the heart?
Not only just because you are "meant" to be there. [ He closes his eyes, before opening them again, staring hard and pointedly into Joshua's. ] Otherwise, one's splendid soul, no matter how brilliant, or even frustrating, and powerful, is at risk of stagnating itself. And one day, it is possible you may be unable to grasp your heart with your own hands, too tired of it with your entire being all the same.
So, tell me...this place that you feel you are meant to reside in - do you feel you are able to be present with all of the full force of your heart? With all that you are? Or does it tire you so?
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linknet2024-07-25 09:10 pm
i lied, week 8 memshare/dreamshare
it's been a weird occurrence all week, hasn't it? something as mundane as sleep eluding you, plunging you into the dream bubbles that you have heard or experienced for yourself over the course of the past two weeks.
this dream is different. this dream is not yours, and you are a visitor.
in the dream, joshua is there. he doesn't look quite the same as you know him. he looks older, a quiet observer. the other participants in the dream don't seem to notice that joshua is there, either. you are the only one who can see him.
what you can also hear is the conversation - between two teenaged-looking boys and a man with sunglasses.
"is it done? we survived seven days, we won the Game, we can go home now, right?"
"not quite. what if i told you that we could only send one of you home, instead of you both?"
"the fuck does that mean? wasn't it in the rules that if you won the Game you get to go back, right?!"
"He wills it so."
there is a dead, horrified silence.
"w-wait, you’re really only sending one of us back?"
"it's up to you."
the two boys look at each other. the first one swallows, clenches his fist and says in a rush, "i can't choose. i want it to be me but... it's--that's not fair. we did this together. so i guess i'm, i'm choosing him? i don't-- why are you making me choose?"
there's another silence, the man in sunglasses looking impassively at the second boy. waiting. joshua waits too, looking at all three of them.
"i can't... i can't do it either. i guess it's both of us or neither or something, i don't know. it's not fair. i want to go home but you can't ask me to kill my partner to make it happen, y'know."
joshua sighs. the other participants in the room don't seem to hear him, but you do, loud and clear. ]
A little weak, but it'll do. Send them both back. That is my judgment.
[ the man in the sunglasses then says: "... He is satisfied with your answers. so we are sending you both back home. well done."
the dream fades, but joshua remains. ]
Did you enjoy the show?
[ he's addressing argenti directly now. ]
no subject
He tries to find an answer to the question but instead he just blurts out: ]
Why would I enjoy something like that?
What is this about 'your judgment'? ...What kind of Game were you sending people through?
[ The memories still are fresh in his mind, but he can't just let it all go unquestioned at the very least. ]
no subject
he is the king of this domain, after all. ]
I thought you would. Or at least, the dreamscape thought you would.
[ joshua laughs, but there's something sad, quiet, contemplative about it, even if he pretends to be flippant. ]
It's what I do, Argenti. I judge if Players are worthy to be returned to life.
[ that explains nothing, really, but ok. ]
no subject
A god. One, perhaps, of life and death - or maybe he is simply someone who forced others into a horrendous game of life or death. He intends to know the difference soon enough.
I thought you would.
The words spoken to him at first make his stomach churn, before Joshua follows that up with a strange conflict in the. It frustrates him, but it drives his curiosity further. ]
...The dreamscape is a rather horrid one.
And if you had thought that of me, you know little of what I find enjoyable - and I thought that would be apparent from our last, yet fraught discussion.
[ He leaves out a tense breath, feeling on the verge of something earth-shattering, but potentially inscrutably frustrating all the same. ]
If that is so, why do you judge "Players"? Why are you in such a position at all? What are you, exactly?
jfc joshua likes to monologue i'm sorry
[ too many lives, too many Games, as they say. and there was that commission that dear mina posted about the dream king, no? ]
No, no, my dear Argenti. [ a laugh. ] You misunderstand, as many do.
Tell me, is there nothing more beautiful than a soul forged through fire, refined through trial, their potential unlocked through things that they never expected to see or experience?
[ a gesture at the scene before them that faded earlier, although if argenti looks hard enough, the dreamscape shifts, the faint, dream-like outlines of the two boys from earlier. ]
His answer satisfied me because on the first day of the Game, he would have willingly sacrificed his Partner to get out alive. By the end of the Game, you saw that he hesitated, that he didn't think that he would be able to kill his Partner even when I gave him that choice. Curious how the human Soul evolves, doesn't it?
Players play the Game, and I judge the outcome. And why? Well, let's just say it came with the job description.
[ a tilt of his head, curious, a little amused, but definitely less antagonistic than joshua usually comes off as. ]
What do you think I am? There's no right or wrong answer, I'm feeling generous at the moment.
HELP it's fine, Argenti deserves it because he yaps people's heads off in turn.
...I say that is a good transformation, yes. Though, I do wonder what transpired in this "Game" at all.
[ Anyway, he takes notice of the way the dreamscape shifts so subtly, yet distinctly enough for someone who is paying way close attention. And he is the type of person who does, for that matter. His brows furrow as he further ponders over Joshua description in the change in nature, which is indeed ideal, but he wonders what he is implying otherwise by 'job description'? Hello?
Argenti also hesitates as he tries to review what the memories had shown him before, and admittedly some of his bias is clouding his judgment. Maybe remnants of his frustration, though he doesn't want to blurt out a thoughtless guess out of sheer stubbornness.
So the pause lingers, and his brows furrow a bit deeper as he desperately tries to piece together an answer; he takes a breath, and reviews his own initial assumptions. ]
...A god who judges a soul once they have crossed beyond the realm of the dead. Though, you are one who has special powers to revive an individual even when they have died? But also potentially condemn them forever.
[ Something closer to what he's heard of what those 'blessed' by the Abundance can have - a return to life, but this seems far more involved than that, so he's throwing in some guesses about Joshua's powers as well. If any of these is true, he'd be far more powerful than some Aeons, potentially. ]
two different flavours of yapping......
Truthfully, I don't remember.
[ a shrug. ]
One of many Games, really, and while I generally give the direction, I leave the minutiae to the Game Masters. That Player report was rather dull, I remember, which necessitated another test, the one you just saw.
[ and joshua claps at argenti's guess. it's not condescending at all, even though it could very well come off as that. maybe. ]
Well done. A little bit off on the details, but something like that.
[ given the amount of hints that he's dropped so far especially in this conversation alone, he would be more surprised if argenti didn't at least guess half of what he was capable of. joshua kiryu for aeon of finality, maybe-- ok I'll stop with the jokes now. ]
Not all winners are worthy, after all. I can't be handing out participation prizes to everyone.
no subject
But, it doesn't stop him from being a good listener. ]
...You mentioned about doing something about the dreamscapes and what it has been dragging out. I shall accompany you on your quest to eliminate what is responsible for this mess.
[ Argenti is a little hesitant at the idea, but the man is answering his questions honestly. Even if he scrutinizes the way Joshua clapped.
So, maybe...anyway, he will have to see at that time if they can truly work together without SOMETHING going wrong (did you know it is 2 for 2 how many times they have fought side by side and matters have gone tipsy-turvy?)
Anyway Sunday! Joshua or perhaps the true Aeon of Finality who was originally the missing-[REDACTED HEADCANONS] ]
...You are used to having others play these 'Games' in order to return back to their lives. Games in which test or judge their character. [ He pauses, trying to asses again Joshua's actions. Was he still playing out a game in his head, in that meeting...? ] Is this role of yours something that you enjoy? Or took on out of a sense of obligation?
no subject
joshua can't say that he's opposed to the idea. it's a different kind of partnership, after all. ]
I might take you up on that offer when we are awake, then~
[ maybe one day the dice won't hate us but looks at the mini event and closes my eyes a little. that's a problem for another time and for future joshua to deal with.
anyway! joshua doesn't seem too surprised at argenti's conflicted stance about him. it's something he's used to by this point, although that last question catches him off guard for a moment, but only for a split second where he gathers himself. ]
Of course. What use is sending someone back if they stay stagnant and never live up to their full potential?
[ ... ]
Something like that. A little bit of both, maybe? You could say it was a choice I made. [ it's accompanied by a shrug, meant to look more flippant than it actually is, but it's a little bit too carefully rehearsed, too easily flippant. ] Do you ever find yourself in a place where you know that you're meant to be there?
no subject
I shall hold you to it.
[ His words are firm but true. Argenti will track Joshua down himself if he must. He's taken the offer seriously
thankfully the mini-event has endedand well he does notice the split second of break in composure. However small. ]...People make choices and though they must be prepared to reap the consequences of them, it does not mean that there are times they wish they could make another.
[ Argenti speaks this from the heart, from experience. ]
That being said, I do. Though, as a Knight of Beauty, I often find myself not lingering for long, and having the freedom to leave such a place that no longer needs my services. Or eventually finding myself on a new road wherein I know not much about my destination, but find my heart ever so excited to greet it beautifully as I shall with each new bright, lovingly inspiring day.
...Perhaps you came to be there because of your choices, because of your duty. And adhering to one's duty can be beautiful, as I know the distinct pleasure of it myself. But if your heart is not in it, does it even hold any meaning for you any longer?
You should have the freedom to choose where you wish to be. Perhaps that means indeed a "place", but it is a state of mind I believe as well. Where you are...is it not something that should be decided ultimately by the heart?
Not only just because you are "meant" to be there. [ He closes his eyes, before opening them again, staring hard and pointedly into Joshua's. ] Otherwise, one's splendid soul, no matter how brilliant, or even frustrating, and powerful, is at risk of stagnating itself. And one day, it is possible you may be unable to grasp your heart with your own hands, too tired of it with your entire being all the same.
So, tell me...this place that you feel you are meant to reside in - do you feel you are able to be present with all of the full force of your heart? With all that you are? Or does it tire you so?