[ She's not going to tell Kainé not to feel that way, not when she understands, albeit on a different level. To find yourself not quite fitting in, to feel like you're off to the side... it's lonely, and she can't imagine how much lonelier Kainé feels being tormented by the other kids. ]
It's hard, isn't it?
[ Reaching into her pocket, Aerith pulls out a handkerchief and reaches out to wipe at Kainé's forehead, should she let her. ]
Being different is lonely. But you'll find people who love you for who you are, people who care about you. They might not be here, but you'll find them. I know it.
After all, you've got me right in front of you. I don't hate you, and I don't think you make bad things happen either.
[ Does she know what those bad things could even be? No, but she feels resolute in that statement anyway. Even if a child is causing bad things to happen, it's not like it's on purpose anyway. How could she hold blame in her heart for Kainé, even in that case? ]
[That very thought seems to terrify the child, even if it's concurrently tangled up in other emotions: gratitude and affectionate awe toward Aerith; unfathomable love for the old woman who came to save her. Though she flinches when the cloth comes toward her face, unaccustomed to gentle touches from almost everyone and certainly not from strangers, she doesn't pull away. Instead, her eyes squeeze shut, and she holds her breath until it's clear it won't be hurting her. Like most things, she just steels herself against the worst so when it comes she'll be unsurprised by it. She's just so tired of the worst.]
But my body... it's - [No small number of horrible words come to the surface until she almost doesn't know which one to say.] ... not normal. If I was normal, then Mom and Dad wouldn't...
[People will come be nice to her? People will love her? They'll just end up getting hurt. It's a real, gripping fear stirring beneath the relief she was already beginning to feel.]
[ That Kainé steels herself to be hurt again doesn't escape Aerith's notice, and it only makes her gentler in her movements, careful in her ministrations to wipe away whatever blood hasn't begun to dry yet. ]
I don't say it easily. It's a hard thing to say and even harder to believe.
[ But she's full of conviction anyway, simply because there's nothing else that can be believed. How would anyone be able to look towards the future if they don't have hope for it? If they don't believe that things will be better?
She continues to wipe away at some of that blood, her voice softening. ]
It's okay to be different, even if other people decide to use those differences against you. That isn't your fault. It's a problem that they have. You're you, and what really matters is that you have a good heart.
[ Aerith can't help but think of Kainé desperately trying to get into Yoon's palace, even though she was too late. There's some real kindness in her heart, that much Aerith knows for certain. ]
sowwy my bday week ended up being kinda shayphobic but i'm gonna snatch more aerith soon
[She glances to the old woman chasing off the crying bullies and cussing a mile a minute. She's commanding but clearly too alone and too elderly to really change anything; though her efforts work, the children's parting words remind her that she can just get out, too, since no one wants her, either. But the old woman just scoffs and starts to come over to check on Kainé instead.] Do you know my Grandma? Sometimes she says things like that. [... With more profanity.] I didn't want to cause her any more trouble.
[Eventually, she grows accustomed to being cared for so gently. Her eyes, once squeezed tightly closed, look at Aerith with some light in them. She wants to believe her. There's so much hopelessness in Kainé - and fear - but there's already anger lurking there, too. If things didn't seem so pointless, she might have lashed out at them all. Hurt them, too. She knows she's probably stronger than all of them combined.
If everything she touches goes so wrong, how could having a good heart ever be enough?]
Do you really believe it? What if what I am is bad?
[ She looks back towards the elderly woman—Kainé's grandmother—and while Aerith shakes her head, she wishes that she did know her. At least someone here cares for the little girl in front of her and isn't afraid to stand up for her. It's a relief, even if Aerith knows that she can't realistically change anything here. ]
I do believe it.
[ Said with just as much conviction as everything else. ]
I don't think anyone is bad, at least not inherently. That includes you, too.
[ Because she can see the light coming back in those eyes now, which means something. It has to, even if the anger Aerith sees there too ends up being Kainé's dominant emotion. ]
The things you do in your life, the things you have control over... what you do then will be the deciding factor in whether or not you're good.
... I'll try. [The small Kainé hangs her head pensively. The thought of it is intimidating, and it's painful... but she has a responsibility to live on and not give up on the ones who believe in her, doesn't she?
Her Grandma comes close then, the way she remembers it. "It's a river wide and deep that flows between the realms of this world and the next, and it grants no mercy to any that attempt the crossin'. You got a duty to fight until your last breath. Understand?"
It only reinforces what she's already being convinced she has to do. She can't give up, not yet, when people like this are still alive and believing in her. There's a rustle of something as the old woman reaches across Aerith's shoulder and lays a wreath of dried white flowers onto Kainé's head.]
Oh, my gosh! These are Lunar Tears. ["They're really rare," Aerith might remember the grown version of this girl saying when taking a wreath that looked very much like this one back from McGillis at a meeting.] You made this for me? Maybe... [She looks at Aerith.] You could have one, too, if you wanted. [She'd look so pretty with one - prettier than the girl herself ever thinks she'll be.
[ Who is a flower girl to deny a flower? She remembers vaguely that Kainé had something similar from McGillis at a meeting, that she had said they were rare. And Aerith wonders if they're rare here in this moment, in this village.
If so, that means this is an important gift, one she'd be remiss to take. ]
I'd love one. We could match!
[ Because Aerith thinks Kainé looks delightful, like a child in one of those old paintings set in a meadow. ]
[The ancient woman fusses with her fingers and mutters a few blusters: "... Just stumbled on 'em one day while I was out doing the shoppin' ... These old hands have trouble with delicate work. But it sure looks good on a pretty girl like you..."
The wreath might not be perfect; it might not have turned out exactly right, but to Kainé it's one of the most beautiful things she's ever seen. There's a delicate, determined reverence to the way she picks at one of the stems looser than the others in the circlet, determined not to rustle a single petal from a single precious flower. They probably aren't something that any normal person could "just stumble" on while shopping.
After her very focused, delicate work is complete, Kainé holds the Lunar Tear out with only a little hesitation, not wanting to accidentally give something away that will make Aerith think she was wrong about her all along. But...no. She's kind, and maybe one day even Kainé will believe that she deserves that kindness.] Here. You'll look beautiful... you already are.
[The rain will slowly cease as the dream begins to come to a close, the Aerie beginning to return to its neutral state, with one last sentiment lingering for Aerith to take in, with time for her to do any last things before it ends: We're gonna be fine, you and me. Long as we got each other, we'll be just fine.]
[ Aerith knows her flowers and she knows enough to tell that those delicate petals and beautiful blooms aren't simply stumbled upon—no, they're sought after. They're found.
So she takes the Lunar Tear with a delicate touch, handling them as if they're the most precious thing in the world. ]
So are you. I know you'll find what you're looking for.
[ The hope she still clings onto despite everything, her desire to be good, to find a place where she belongs... all of it makes her spirit as lovely as those that float along the lifestream back home. It reminds Aerith of herself when she was a child too, and she can't help but want to get out one last sentiment of encouragement before the dream fades, but she finds those words echoing in the darkness of her own room instead.
Ah... at least the sentiment echoing in her heart now bolsters her with hope. ]
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no subject
It's hard, isn't it?
[ Reaching into her pocket, Aerith pulls out a handkerchief and reaches out to wipe at Kainé's forehead, should she let her. ]
Being different is lonely. But you'll find people who love you for who you are, people who care about you. They might not be here, but you'll find them. I know it.
After all, you've got me right in front of you. I don't hate you, and I don't think you make bad things happen either.
[ Does she know what those bad things could even be? No, but she feels resolute in that statement anyway. Even if a child is causing bad things to happen, it's not like it's on purpose anyway. How could she hold blame in her heart for Kainé, even in that case? ]
no subject
[That very thought seems to terrify the child, even if it's concurrently tangled up in other emotions: gratitude and affectionate awe toward Aerith; unfathomable love for the old woman who came to save her. Though she flinches when the cloth comes toward her face, unaccustomed to gentle touches from almost everyone and certainly not from strangers, she doesn't pull away. Instead, her eyes squeeze shut, and she holds her breath until it's clear it won't be hurting her. Like most things, she just steels herself against the worst so when it comes she'll be unsurprised by it. She's just so tired of the worst.]
But my body... it's - [No small number of horrible words come to the surface until she almost doesn't know which one to say.] ... not normal. If I was normal, then Mom and Dad wouldn't...
[People will come be nice to her? People will love her? They'll just end up getting hurt. It's a real, gripping fear stirring beneath the relief she was already beginning to feel.]
How can you say that so easily?
no subject
I don't say it easily. It's a hard thing to say and even harder to believe.
[ But she's full of conviction anyway, simply because there's nothing else that can be believed. How would anyone be able to look towards the future if they don't have hope for it? If they don't believe that things will be better?
She continues to wipe away at some of that blood, her voice softening. ]
It's okay to be different, even if other people decide to use those differences against you. That isn't your fault. It's a problem that they have. You're you, and what really matters is that you have a good heart.
[ Aerith can't help but think of Kainé desperately trying to get into Yoon's palace, even though she was too late. There's some real kindness in her heart, that much Aerith knows for certain. ]
sowwy my bday week ended up being kinda shayphobic but i'm gonna snatch more aerith soon
[Eventually, she grows accustomed to being cared for so gently. Her eyes, once squeezed tightly closed, look at Aerith with some light in them. She wants to believe her. There's so much hopelessness in Kainé - and fear - but there's already anger lurking there, too. If things didn't seem so pointless, she might have lashed out at them all. Hurt them, too. She knows she's probably stronger than all of them combined.
If everything she touches goes so wrong, how could having a good heart ever be enough?]
Do you really believe it? What if what I am is bad?
YAY MORE KAINE but dw i took a break myself
I do believe it.
[ Said with just as much conviction as everything else. ]
I don't think anyone is bad, at least not inherently. That includes you, too.
[ Because she can see the light coming back in those eyes now, which means something. It has to, even if the anger Aerith sees there too ends up being Kainé's dominant emotion. ]
The things you do in your life, the things you have control over... what you do then will be the deciding factor in whether or not you're good.
no subject
Her Grandma comes close then, the way she remembers it. "It's a river wide and deep that flows between the realms of this world and the next, and it grants no mercy to any that attempt the crossin'. You got a duty to fight until your last breath. Understand?"
It only reinforces what she's already being convinced she has to do. She can't give up, not yet, when people like this are still alive and believing in her. There's a rustle of something as the old woman reaches across Aerith's shoulder and lays a wreath of dried white flowers onto Kainé's head.]
Oh, my gosh! These are Lunar Tears. ["They're really rare," Aerith might remember the grown version of this girl saying when taking a wreath that looked very much like this one back from McGillis at a meeting.] You made this for me? Maybe... [She looks at Aerith.] You could have one, too, if you wanted. [She'd look so pretty with one - prettier than the girl herself ever thinks she'll be.
...So, Aerith, would you like a flower?]
no subject
If so, that means this is an important gift, one she'd be remiss to take. ]
I'd love one. We could match!
[ Because Aerith thinks Kainé looks delightful, like a child in one of those old paintings set in a meadow. ]
no subject
The wreath might not be perfect; it might not have turned out exactly right, but to Kainé it's one of the most beautiful things she's ever seen. There's a delicate, determined reverence to the way she picks at one of the stems looser than the others in the circlet, determined not to rustle a single petal from a single precious flower. They probably aren't something that any normal person could "just stumble" on while shopping.
After her very focused, delicate work is complete, Kainé holds the Lunar Tear out with only a little hesitation, not wanting to accidentally give something away that will make Aerith think she was wrong about her all along. But...no. She's kind, and maybe one day even Kainé will believe that she deserves that kindness.] Here. You'll look beautiful... you already are.
[The rain will slowly cease as the dream begins to come to a close, the Aerie beginning to return to its neutral state, with one last sentiment lingering for Aerith to take in, with time for her to do any last things before it ends: We're gonna be fine, you and me. Long as we got each other, we'll be just fine.]
no subject
So she takes the Lunar Tear with a delicate touch, handling them as if they're the most precious thing in the world. ]
So are you. I know you'll find what you're looking for.
[ The hope she still clings onto despite everything, her desire to be good, to find a place where she belongs... all of it makes her spirit as lovely as those that float along the lifestream back home. It reminds Aerith of herself when she was a child too, and she can't help but want to get out one last sentiment of encouragement before the dream fades, but she finds those words echoing in the darkness of her own room instead.
Ah... at least the sentiment echoing in her heart now bolsters her with hope. ]