She's trembling so much that he has the impulse to scoop her up and take her somewhere a little more private, but... no, she needs to have the chance to calm down somewhat before he does something like that.
Instead, he does hold her a little tighter, trying to be as reassuring as possible. He's here. She's okay. It'll be okay.]
It was too perfect. Everything was- perfectly placed, and tidy and organized and I could-- I could feel eyes on me and it was too perfect. It had to stop-
[He doesn't understand - not quite - but her distress, clear and open and honest in her quiet voice hits home.
So he shifts, so he's sitting cross-legged, and so he can pull her into his lap and hold her gently. He even focuses on breathing - he might not have to breathe in the first place, but it's something to fake around people who don't know what he is, and it's something he can do now for her. Slow, deep, steady breaths. The rise and fall of his chest against her back at an even tempo, something for her to focus on to ground herself, or a pattern to match, if she wants to take it.]
Do you feel better, after doing all this?
[Because if so, then it's fine. He'll tidy up himself later, if someone else doesn't get to it first... and if someone does, and it's too perfect...
Well, he can be an agent of chaos before Mafuyu has to see it again.]
( yes. no. she wants to ruin everything, sink her fingers into flesh and claw, but she can't, not celeste- and he wouldn't let her do it to herself, either. she falters a bit- )
I- it doesn't hurt to look at. the eyes are gone.
( which is nice. the watched feeling, the staring is gone. even though there was no one to watch to begin with. )
... But- I'm scared. I feel angry- that... doesn't happen. It can't happen.
[She could, if it would help. He wouldn't mind her clawing into him... but she's right he wouldn't let her do it to herself.
But the eyes are gone, that's good. The watched feeling with them. Sure, no one was there in the first place, but it didn't really matter, now did it?]
Why not? You are allowed to feel emotions, Mafuyu.
[Even the ugly ones. Especially the ugly ones, so they don't fester.]
[There's a dark calm to his voice. He understands why Mafuyu might not want to feel those emotions, why she might push them away to survive - both at home and here, honestly - but... to have them taken?
He isn't Braphine's biggest fan, but he also isn't sure it was her that did it - and even if she did, it's clearly caused more harm than any misguided help.]
If she took them, she can give them back.
[And he stands, quick and easy, with Mafuyu still in his arms - though he does shift his hold to cradle her close, is aware that she might try and bolt, as well, but...]
[It would seem there was a misunderstanding somewhere - but there's time enough to understand while they walk. She clings. He's not leaving her, holding her tight in his arms as he walks with purpose out of the dorms, and towards the temple.]
You'll see them again.
[Maybe not now. Maybe not until their mission here is done. But... if they go to Mafuyu's world for one thing, it'll be that.]
And it was taken from you, like things were taken from most of us.
[Said in understanding, not to dismiss her pain.
But that means it can't be given back so easily... and yet he doesn't pause in his path to the temple. If anything, his strides become longer, to cover more distance without jostling her by actively quickening his pace.
Because this has been missing the whole time they've been here.
Because this is the first time she'd reacted so strongly to its absence.
Something else was hurting her heart, now, too, and something needed to be done.]
( mafuyu whines, but it sounds more like something's dying cry than an upset child- and then she realizes where they're going. immediately she starts to struggle- )
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linknet2024-07-25 08:00 pm
no subject
She's trembling so much that he has the impulse to scoop her up and take her somewhere a little more private, but... no, she needs to have the chance to calm down somewhat before he does something like that.
Instead, he does hold her a little tighter, trying to be as reassuring as possible. He's here. She's okay. It'll be okay.]
What's going on?
no subject
It was too perfect. Everything was- perfectly placed, and tidy and organized and I could-- I could feel eyes on me and it was too perfect. It had to stop-
( her voice is quiet but ragged. )
no subject
[He doesn't understand - not quite - but her distress, clear and open and honest in her quiet voice hits home.
So he shifts, so he's sitting cross-legged, and so he can pull her into his lap and hold her gently. He even focuses on breathing - he might not have to breathe in the first place, but it's something to fake around people who don't know what he is, and it's something he can do now for her. Slow, deep, steady breaths. The rise and fall of his chest against her back at an even tempo, something for her to focus on to ground herself, or a pattern to match, if she wants to take it.]
Do you feel better, after doing all this?
[Because if so, then it's fine. He'll tidy up himself later, if someone else doesn't get to it first... and if someone does, and it's too perfect...
Well, he can be an agent of chaos before Mafuyu has to see it again.]
cw self harm implications
I- it doesn't hurt to look at. the eyes are gone.
( which is nice. the watched feeling, the staring is gone. even though there was no one to watch to begin with. )
... But- I'm scared. I feel angry- that... doesn't happen. It can't happen.
no subject
But the eyes are gone, that's good. The watched feeling with them. Sure, no one was there in the first place, but it didn't really matter, now did it?]
Why not? You are allowed to feel emotions, Mafuyu.
[Even the ugly ones. Especially the ugly ones, so they don't fester.]
no subject
( she shouldn't be saying this. but...
she hasn't seen her own heart in weeks. )
Braphine took them from me. I want them back!
no subject
[There's a dark calm to his voice. He understands why Mafuyu might not want to feel those emotions, why she might push them away to survive - both at home and here, honestly - but... to have them taken?
He isn't Braphine's biggest fan, but he also isn't sure it was her that did it - and even if she did, it's clearly caused more harm than any misguided help.]
If she took them, she can give them back.
[And he stands, quick and easy, with Mafuyu still in his arms - though he does shift his hold to cradle her close, is aware that she might try and bolt, as well, but...]
I'll speak to her for you, if you're scared.
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( anger gives out to grief and she just. clings. don't go, don't go, don't go- )
no subject
[It would seem there was a misunderstanding somewhere - but there's time enough to understand while they walk. She clings. He's not leaving her, holding her tight in his arms as he walks with purpose out of the dorms, and towards the temple.]
You'll see them again.
[Maybe not now. Maybe not until their mission here is done. But... if they go to Mafuyu's world for one thing, it'll be that.]
no subject
... A world born of one's feelings and song. It- it's my heart.
no subject
[Said in understanding, not to dismiss her pain.
But that means it can't be given back so easily... and yet he doesn't pause in his path to the temple. If anything, his strides become longer, to cover more distance without jostling her by actively quickening his pace.
Because this has been missing the whole time they've been here.
Because this is the first time she'd reacted so strongly to its absence.
Something else was hurting her heart, now, too, and something needed to be done.]
no subject
N-no- no, where are you taking me?
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Doesn't put her down. If anything, he shifts his hold on her to be more secure so he won't drop her.]
To the temple, Mafuyu. Just in case.
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( there is no way in hell her wiggling is actually impeding him any. )
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[No need to be cagey with her. Her wiggling isn't impeding him, no, but her distress is, well, distressing in turn.]
And she may not be able to bring them back, but she can be helpful in other ways... I don't want you hurt, Mafuyu.
no subject
( ... she'll apologize about this later but right now? right now he is the devil, truly. )
no subject
[He'll apologize about this later, too, for stepping all over her boundaries, for forcing her to do something she doesn't want...
But sometimes, one must be the devil.]