[ soujuurou tilts his head, as if genuinely surprised by the statement. he takes the blanket as she sets it down, folding it without much thought. the fold is perfectly straight, almost machine like. he sets it down on the edge of the bed. ]
Oh, you mean when I fainted, didn't I? [ once again he looks a bit meek. embarrassed. ] I didn't realize until recently but... I have a hard time looking at that sort of thing. It's difficult to explain, but it was just so unexpected that I guess I just couldn't take it.
[ and to protect itself, soujuurou's mind saw no option other than to simply shut down. ]
That, but also- it looked as if something was scaring you despite it already passing. Like something only you knew was there but not attacking, so you had to keep moving like nothing was wrong. Does... that make sense?
Honestly, it was very hard to look at. I don't blame you for being afraid.
[ ah, that's right. with a nod, he'll just pass her a random one. he figures that even if she can't taste it, it'd be rude not to do so. ]
That makes sense. I'm afraid of dogs more than any other animal.
[ he looks down at his arms, the discoloration of the scars visible now that he's wearing his t-shirt for sleeping. he brings the cup to his lips, taking a taste of the tea that he chose. apple, huh? ]
After that, I helped Jesse out. And then I decided that I wanted that fight to end as quickly as possible. So I summoned my Persona and had him attack.
I saw... I don't think I've ever noticed you use your Persona before, so it stood out to me. And I appreciate your timing. I'm not a fighter in any sense of the word, but it felt necessary... however, Atem clearly is, and he uses my weakness.
( she's pretty certain atem was going to destroy her if she kept going alone.
mafuyu fiddles with the teabag, watching the water change color in slow, dark swirls. it smells sweet, at least. )
I remember you got upset in my own palace, too. I know I wasn't in control, but- I'm sorry.
I never really think about using it. I don't like fighting in general, but I feel that if I just stand back and let it do all the fighting...it also feels off.
[ maybe it's his aversion to violence that incites him to jump into the fray. it reminds him of the weight of each punch. of the gravity of his actions. ]
I'm not sure why you're apologizing to me, though. You said it yourself, right? You weren't in control.
To be honest, not even I'm sure what happened. I was fighting with the your mother for the scepter and then... mm. I'm sure she used some sort of spell on me.
[ and when he came back to his senses, what he had was a scepter covered in black blood and...
he takes a sip of his tea, looking as if he's embarrassed with himself. ]
It felt like something within me snapped. I know what I'm capable of, but even then... that was too much. I didn't like it, even now.
She likely did- she had a lot of tricky spells to disrupt your thoughts.
( she doesn't really remember the final battle very much, though she thinks she tried to help as best she could for a broken puppet, but she remembers her multiple escape attempts. )
I wish you hadn't had to have experienced that. I hope... that this week can be peaceful, for both our sakes.
[ he smiles at her, giving her a small nod. he doesn't know that he's going to be sent to dangan rompa land, but it seems he's at least handling that a bit better than these two last hells.
he sits down at the edge of the bed, taking a sip from the mug. ]
... After my own palace, I felt... light. Like something heavy was finally gone. And I think it's still there... but right now, after all of that, it just hurts. Atem's, I mean. It was confusing, and then overwhelming, and I'm still not sure what happened sometimes...
I know I got off easy, but I was terrified for all of you, and even though I know you're all okay, it's still... hard to think about.
Edited (THANK YOU TORI AND ALSO SORRY TORI) 2024-10-03 04:17 (UTC)
[ soujuurou hums, shifting on the bed to sit cross-legged, back straight. ]
I can’t imagine how it must have felt to watch that happen to us. Honestly, when I was trapped I… felt like I was going to die again. Senses can fool you really easily, you know? I knew I was in the palace, but all I could see, feel, hear, and smell was…
[ soujuurou’s gaze darkens as he remembers that sensation, that desperation and pain. even now, he feels the sting of the claws and fangs ripping through him.
he takes a sip of his tea. ]
I’m sorry for being one of the ones that worried you like that.
I'm guessing it's because we lost at a game. He said we would have to play a penalty game if we lost. [ he shrugs. who knew that penalty games could be so merciless? maybe he and alice could have a chat.
but there's not much time to ponder about that, as mafuyu's question leaves him confused. ]
Why would it be bad for me to be there with you?
[ beyond his difficulty comprehending things like good or evil, the question simply doesn't make sense to soujuurou when the answer is right there in front of him. ]
Isn't this job all about making bonds? So it only makes sense that we would want help from our friends in tough situations. I don't think anyone could have solved one of these things on their own-- it's just too much.
I feel bad for it because it means that you suffered and I was still partially relieved for it. You shouldn't have had to go through any of that. No one should have, I know, but...
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( she'll set the blanket down as well and accept the cup. it's hot and pleasant to hold, at least, and that in and of itself is soothing. )
It's hard for me to remember what happened in my time as the Marionette, but I remember you seemed... haunted, almost? And then Atem's palace...
...
Would you like to talk about it? I can listen, at least.
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[ soujuurou tilts his head, as if genuinely surprised by the statement. he takes the blanket as she sets it down, folding it without much thought. the fold is perfectly straight, almost machine like. he sets it down on the edge of the bed. ]
Oh, you mean when I fainted, didn't I? [ once again he looks a bit meek. embarrassed. ] I didn't realize until recently but... I have a hard time looking at that sort of thing. It's difficult to explain, but it was just so unexpected that I guess I just couldn't take it.
[ and to protect itself, soujuurou's mind saw no option other than to simply shut down. ]
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That, but also- it looked as if something was scaring you despite it already passing. Like something only you knew was there but not attacking, so you had to keep moving like nothing was wrong. Does... that make sense?
Honestly, it was very hard to look at. I don't blame you for being afraid.
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[ he says this plainly, pulling out one random tea bag. he doesn't even look at it as he sets it in the mug to let it steep. ]
Oh, which one would you like?
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( but- that does match up with what she was able to put together from the punishment games... )
From my understanding, everyone who was dealt a punishment was trapped in their own worst nightmare.
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That makes sense. I'm afraid of dogs more than any other animal.
[ he looks down at his arms, the discoloration of the scars visible now that he's wearing his t-shirt for sleeping. he brings the cup to his lips, taking a taste of the tea that he chose. apple, huh? ]
After that, I helped Jesse out. And then I decided that I wanted that fight to end as quickly as possible. So I summoned my Persona and had him attack.
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( she's pretty certain atem was going to destroy her if she kept going alone.
mafuyu fiddles with the teabag, watching the water change color in slow, dark swirls. it smells sweet, at least. )
I remember you got upset in my own palace, too. I know I wasn't in control, but- I'm sorry.
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[ maybe it's his aversion to violence that incites him to jump into the fray. it reminds him of the weight of each punch. of the gravity of his actions. ]
I'm not sure why you're apologizing to me, though. You said it yourself, right? You weren't in control.
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( with some silence, she takes a sip of tea. it's akin to just drinking hot water, yes, but the warmth is welcome still. )
It was still sourced from me, and it hurt you. Maybe it doesn't make sense, but it's how I feel.
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[ and when he came back to his senses, what he had was a scepter covered in black blood and...
he takes a sip of his tea, looking as if he's embarrassed with himself. ]
It felt like something within me snapped. I know what I'm capable of, but even then... that was too much. I didn't like it, even now.
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( she doesn't really remember the final battle very much, though she thinks she tried to help as best she could for a broken puppet, but she remembers her multiple escape attempts. )
I wish you hadn't had to have experienced that. I hope... that this week can be peaceful, for both our sakes.
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[ he smiles at her, giving her a small nod. he doesn't know that he's going to be sent to dangan rompa land, but it seems he's at least handling that a bit better than these two last hells.
he sits down at the edge of the bed, taking a sip from the mug. ]
What about you Mafuyu? How are you feeling?
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I know I got off easy, but I was terrified for all of you, and even though I know you're all okay, it's still... hard to think about.
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I can’t imagine how it must have felt to watch that happen to us. Honestly, when I was trapped I… felt like I was going to die again. Senses can fool you really easily, you know? I knew I was in the palace, but all I could see, feel, hear, and smell was…
[ soujuurou’s gaze darkens as he remembers that sensation, that desperation and pain. even now, he feels the sting of the claws and fangs ripping through him.
he takes a sip of his tea. ]
I’m sorry for being one of the ones that worried you like that.
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... I wish I could have helped everyone. When I tried to use Energy Shower, he stopped me. That's why we were fighting.
( that, and she had a feeling he wouldn't listen to anyone if he was still strong enough to fight. )
I'm sorry that you had to experience either of the palaces. But... at the same time, I'm glad that you were with me or there to save me. Is that bad?
( wait fuck he is so the wrong person to ask- )
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but there's not much time to ponder about that, as mafuyu's question leaves him confused. ]
Why would it be bad for me to be there with you?
[ beyond his difficulty comprehending things like good or evil, the question simply doesn't make sense to soujuurou when the answer is right there in front of him. ]
Isn't this job all about making bonds? So it only makes sense that we would want help from our friends in tough situations. I don't think anyone could have solved one of these things on their own-- it's just too much.
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